I feel unattractive...

@MandiMoxxi

Hi

I read your previous thread as well as this one. It sounds like your boyfriend and you have very different priorities right now. It also sounds like you're having difficulties in communicating. You know, in a fairly new relationship we might just hang out a little and see if things improve, but how long do you put off your needs for? A month, a year, six months, six years, a lifetime?

Relationships work best where there is compromise......in fact, I'd say that's pretty essential. Consideration of your partner's needs, and a desire to respect and meet them. Both people need to do this, not just one. Your needs matter too. And if your partner has no interest at all in trying to meet them - well, I leave you to draw your own conclusions. Dont be afraid to say 'I matter too'. Because you do - very much. Believe that, and see where it leads you.

@MandiMoxxi

There are times in our lives when we have to re-assess and figure out if what we are doing with our lives currently is really best for the long term. It is very likely that this is one of those times for you. I think a lot of people like to avoid the hard work of doing the assessment of their lives so they just push forward figuring that everything will work out for the best and because of overly complicated relationships, family, connections, expectations, emotions, we fail to act when we should until we're knee deep in a situation we wish we had emotional fortitude to end years prior. It was that gut instinct that told you that something wasn't quite right about your situation but you've been clearly waiting for things to get better but they have not. Now you're considering your future with him which includes children. If you think things will be easier with children involved, guess again.

There are quite a few key life differences you both have - which includes sexualty, children, and quite obviously communication. It is those differences when you have to really take a step back and take a good hard look at what you're doing with your life and the person that you've chosen to be with long term.

While I am not telling you to end things with him - I am suggesting that perhaps you re-think what your life priorities are and of course the type of person that you'd strongly desire to be with long term. The good news is that if you decide he is not it, you still have time to make things right with someone else. The bad news is that it's a very difficult and life altering choice which is not going to be easy no matter what way you decide to take it.

Something you should consider is when you look back at your life, do you want to be very proud of the decisions that you've made? Do you believe that when he eventually decides to have children with you (in eight years), will he be the type of man who will lead your children with you into adulthood as a supportive, nurturing, and loving father?

Perhaps it's time to ask yourself the hard questions and take real action towards the things that are most important to you.

(*My comments are solely based on my personal experiences and should not be considered as legal, medical advice or therapy.)