I masurbated to some sick videos.....

Hi there, thanks for your post .

You mentioned alot of things just now. I can see you feel very bad about this and annoyed that it happened and I can understand why you do .

I'm not gonna be here and tell you not to worry or do nothing. That your a good person blah blah . You won't believe any of that and maybe some of it isn't true.

Yes what you did maybe would offend some people and society would think you are this or whatever. However, it's how we see ourselves and your saying you don't like yourself so you must feel guilty?

I don't think this is right but all you can do is try and get help for this and slowly put it behind you . Being honest is a good thing and telling them everything is even better so I suppose you have to talk to someone to know how one will react.

Also all these sexual fantasies were maybe good at the time and you felt better but you have grown up and know the dangers of what it can do. Maybe try speaking to a sex therapist and get some help from them with what you are feeling.

Remember your 19 and going through hormonal changes so there's nothing to say that you will feel like this again and if you are just remember it's temporary how your feeling and what you feel and think are two different things so maybe be honest with your upcoming relationships and just say how you feel in yourself and what you like doing when you get aroused.

If you live in the UK there's this website called TheMix.com what has lots of information and advice on sex and relationships so if you are unsure about anything have a look on there and get some tips . Also there's a site with lots on information again on sex which is called sexwise or if not you might find that 7 cups relationship support might help deal with common problems further on in the long rrun .

In mean time stay safe and don't put yourself at risk.

Hope that helps

As I said before its best to be honest and open . It then depends on your partner . There is no right or wrong way coming out with it. You are still gonna get the response your partner will say.

Just remember we all make mistakes and just human so if your partner whoever that is can't accept you for you then they don't deserve you and there are other people who will.

What sexuality are you? I don't know what that word stands for

OK. Well I don't know much about this whole prosoner your carrying but when you said no talking I get that you perform then talk first I guess .

I do think you have to still communicate to them . Your both I guess would be wanting the same things so it shouldn't really be any different to opening on how your feeling but with the fantasy thing just don't think about it too much or have to explain everything. Keep it dignified and a bit more showing your sense of humor in a funny way so they know your cool talking about it. Either way it will be down to them if they wanna be with you or not but just get straight to the point and keep it light hearted and real and just end it by saying now you know about me being clean to you it's fair if you want to just be friends after this or nothing at all. I would respect you either way and just end it like that.

That's all you need to do but if it don't go your way it's not meant to be. Some people act different to load of things. Don't best yourself up . I'm sure your good person and someone will see that.

Right now try not to think over it to much .Just let it be what it is and deal with it when you have that conversation. If you feel writing your feelings down helps do that.

@FantasyNerd98

Just seems you're submissive really. Because you haven't experienced it you have it built up inside. Nothing to be ashamed of. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else I don't see anything bad with your fetiche. Just a matter of you find someone confortable with sharing that fetiche.

"How bad is the thing i done ? - Should i tell my potentional partner about it ? - Am i overthinking this ?"

as long as it's not child pornography, you should be okay, i guess. i know for sure, where i live, having child pornography is illegal. cops will literally swarm your home if you have child pornography and you can get into legal trouble. always make sure that the women are of legal age.

outside of legality, good and bad depends on what you feel might diminish your health, i suppose. personally i wouldnt be excited about fighting women; it's just not exciting for me because the fighting evokes a sense of masculinity for me, and reminds me of how some men change their gender.

I do like watching ladies doing sport; like during the Olympics, I would get excited watching Olympic women doing beam and dance performances.

as for telling your potential partner, well since th fighting stuff is in the past, then it's not really worth mentioning. since you no longer do it now, it's just not relevant much in current conversations with her, and would only make you look weird. you can go ahead and tell her, but I wouldn't.