My boyfriend doesnt want to have sex
I have been in a long distance relation ship for 1 year, so we planned that i would move to him. We are now finally living together but my boyfriend doesnt want to have sex with me at all. I have lived with him for a month now and we have had sex only one time. He never kisses me or shows any affection at all. After the first night we had sex he said that our ”sex” doesnt match(?). If i could decide i would have sex all the time because i love him and have a very big sexual attraction, but he doesnt.. I respect that we dont have to have sex everyday but it has now been a month. I always go to bed with him and try to dress a little more sexy, and showing off a nipslip or putting my foot or hand on his parts sometimes in hope that he will get turned on, but no.. he just turn his back. Maybe he doesnt love me anymore? I dont know what to do, all i can think of is sex but he is not giving me it, how can i move forward? I just need some support.
I had this experience, but… in my situation, my husband was turning to porn Instead of having sex with me. It had nothing to do with « not loving me or being attracted ». I would maybe sit and have a good conversation with him about how you aren’t fulfilled, and ask why it is that he doesn’t want to.
He doesnt watch porn either, or atleast i have not seen him doing it. He seems to have no sexual desires 😞
It seems to me that he is a bit asexual in that sense. I can't imagine he doesn't have sexual desires considering most men are very sexual. My boyfriend is very sexual but I also attribute that to the fact that he watches a lot of porn. I know he likes to do what he sees in those videos. And he trys to get me to do those things too. I mean I know spicing things in the bedroom can be fun and a healthy part of a intimate relationship but, it can be too much. However, there are boundaries that need to be respected. I can understand that a guy may not want to have sex but sometimes finding another partner who can satisfy you is the best choice.
I had a similar experience with my boyfriend, he would turn to porn instead of having sex with me. I can relate to what some guys may want in the bedroom. I think some guys see what they want in porn and when they do not get it in real life they just turn to it for sexual gratification. He would also want to do more degrading sex acts which I attribute to what he saw on porn and wanted me to do those "things" with him. Sometimes men just want extra intimacy in their life's and do those fantasies that they have or what they see in porn.
@Chanels
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well.
One of the big components of a relationship is sexual intimacy, and from the sounds of it he has been rejecting you and your advances. It's never okay to be with someone who's doing this to you because it will make you feel undesired and as if he doesn't feel attraction for you. Sexual intimacy is important for you, and it's not something you should compromise. He can either work on it, or you may have to find someone who will make you feel desired and attractive.
I have a similar problem, thank you for this text. I got rejected so often, my self esteem dropped to zero. I know that men desire me, but everytime my partner rejects me it's like a stab in my chest. Like a stamp that tells me I'm unattractive, unloved and not desirable. I don't know how I can heal from this many rejections.
my advice: Please do not commit to a relationship when you're not loving yourself enough..It just hurts your partner.
This really hit home for me because 20 years ago, I moved for someone who did something very similar. I know there was an adjustment period, but then one day, they said they were "asexual" and no longer interested. I know in your case he has not said anything, but what really hit it for me was that the person I moved for and eventually bought a house with, was staying up nights and sleeping in the day while I was at work.
Having moved for online love three times, with similar results, sometimes both people do not love "equally" before they see each other. I am not saying he doesn't love you, but once things cross over, the reality hits and maybe it is overwhelming. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship and a candid conversation with pointed questions may get you the answers that you need.
No matter what happens, the fact you moved to be with him shows true love and commitment and deserves an honest answer to the questions you need to ask of him.