Never knew
This to me is a huge step , confessing something Id never tell anyone but my mom. My first time was not very fun or memorable honestly but that was my introduction to sex but I had no knowledge of the consequences. Once I told my mother decided I was old enough and found out about my first time she put me on a 3 year implanted birth control. I honestly wish I never got it. When it came to sex I had the mindset that condoms were meant to prevent babies .. I didnt even take a minuet to think how easy it is to contract an STD. I have had sex with 6 different men and I have no idea who I got it from besides my first time because it was also his. I believe my STD came from my second sexual partner and he never told me . Me and him always kept things on a level where we only talked to each other if it was about sex , a friend with benefits really. I continued on with my life and I believe I have infected the last 4 men Ive been with. One has accused me of it but I denied due to the fact I never thought it could happen to me. Then another I was in a relationship with and I found out at that time for the first time ever from the hospital and told him that I have it and so does he . I am young and dumb and I feel so ashamed of myself . Why didnt I ever go get checked ? Why did I think this would never happen to me ? . To this day I still have it and I feel so trapped !!!! . I saw the signs but didnt know what kind of signs they were <\3 the worst part about it is it makes me so anxious when interacting
Hey there @Anonymous3322
Thanks for feeling as though you're able to open up to us I'm sure that must have been challenging to write . I know this muct be a really hard thing to deal with especially when we're unsuspecing and think it's not going to happen to us. It seems now you have your doubts about having an implanted birth control method for sure the what if's might start coming up but you can't know who carries what and it seems you were only just learning things and just becoming sexually active, you were unaware. It makes sense you'd feel trapped, it can be really hard to have something you don't want and didn't intend on catching. I know you mentioned feeling anxious when interacting - do you think there is anything you can do to make you feel better about yourself during this time?
I know this must be really hard for you and I want you to know how strong you've been to come this far and even tell stangers about this. We're here for you at 7 cups 24/7 please let us know if there is any way we can provide support to you!! We allways have listeners ready to take a chat and listen.
*sending hugs to you - if you're okay with it!*
Take care,
Bear 
I just found out that I have an std and is be very really hard to cope with it. After getting divorced because my husband cheated on me. I found out that he was being diagnosed with herpes and being safe I when to check my self sadly I got it as well. I know this is the results of my ex-husband infidelities. It Hurt so much that I have to pay someone else mistakes. Make feel so disgusted with me and that no one else would be love. And would always assume that I'm persons of questionable morals. I know there's nothing you can do I have it and never going away. I found someone that I'm interested in after two years that my marriage ended. And is so scary have to tell this person because I care I feel that I may be single forever because I can't deal with the shame of telling someone that I like: hey I herpes and if you stay with me you may have it as well. And have to deal with the responsibility of giving it to someone else and make it go through what I'm going.
@Blueberry1417 - Hi there, it can definitely be really scary and upsetting to find out that you have an STD and to have to come to terms with that, but I want to assure you that you are not alone and this is not a reason for someone to not love you. Yes, it's absolutely an added challenge in a relationship, but it's not one that can't be overcome. There are many people in happy relationships where one has an STD and I think that being open and communicating can help you get there. No partner who is right for you will let this be the defining factor of your relationship.
Have you talked with a doctor about what treatment options are available, how to have safe sex with a partner who doesn't have herpes, etc.? Learning more about your options might help you to feel a little less overwhelmed by this. And if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here and you're always welcome to reach out.
@Anomalia hi thanks for the reply. I did talk to my doctor about it and I started take the antiviral medication and everything.The doctors was really nice about it and said that
@Blueberry1417 - I'm glad you were able to talk to your doctor and that they were reassuring. It's definitely upsetting when you like someone a lot and they don't react well to it, but that tells me they are not the right fit, and them being out of the picture leaves you open to meet someone who is a better partner for you!
