Scared of Sex and Deeper Intimacy
My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now and we still have not had sex. I am ashamed to say this, but it’s the truth. I do love him and find him very attractive, but I am scared for some reason. I feel like I’m scared of getting too close, even though that’s what he wants and I want it too, because I feel I might get hurt in the end. Being together with him for six years with still no sex, and me continuing to mess up and not open up to him and he’s still around must mean something right? I also think it’s because of a lack of confidence in myself, but I don’t want to tell him I’m scared of growing deeper together because I’m afraid he’ll leave me because that’ll make it seem like I don’t trust him or his intentions, which I do. I just need validation sometimes too because of my anxiety. How do I get over my fear of intimacy and how am I able to learn more self-confidence and love?
@charmingWillow3928 I agree with you. As he is still around, and you are still around, too, that must mean a lot.
I once knew a therapist (in real life, not on 7 Cups) who specialized in helping couples with exactly this kind of issue. So I know there are couples therapists and couples counsellors who can help.
Also, I have no doubt that some of them will have written self help books. I don't have a specific recommendation, though.
If you'd ever like to chat about the situation, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me.
Charlie
@charming i have a similar problem. Mine is that I don't have a boyfriend and when he finally comes I get scared of accepting for the fear of having sex and being into something deep. Its really depressing
It's okay to wait to have sex. Sex is something intimate and personal. You have it not because you think you should, but because you want to. I'd recommend doing research on it. Figure out what you want to do.
