Why do I cry every time we have sex?
I don't know what's wrong with me lately but I have been having a lot of issues when it comes to my sex life with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years.
We had a pretty healthy sex life-it was about 1 or 2 times every day/other day, then went down to 1 or 2 times a week, and now it's been non-existent. We just had sex for the first time in 2 months a few days ago.
It's both of our faults, but I'm only speaking from my perspective because he is terrible at communicating with me.
For me, I just have no desire having sex with him anymore. Every time we do, I can tell he's impatient and wants me to finish so he can get on with it. He only lasts like 5 minutes max and I always feel like I have to pretend and fake an orgasm so we could move on with it. He is a smoker so he loses his breath fast and tries to hurry so he finishes to get it other with. I also feel like he's not happy with my "tightness" now because when we have sex he squeezes my legs tight together.
I've gained weight as a result of depression from losing my job and I also feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore. He tells me he is, but I can tell he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore either. Anytime I try to get him in the mood, he pushes me away and tells me not today. He never used to do that until a year into us dating. He doesn't compliment me, make me feel beautiful, nothing.
The worst part of all of this is for the past year or so I bawl my eyes out EVERYTIME we have sex. Whether it's during or after. I'm always crying heavy and can't put my finger on it. I feel like a lot of it is I don't really feel a connection when we have sex anymore. I don't feel like it's passionate, special, or fun. I'm partly to blame because I just lay there anymore. But I can't exactly pin it on one thing. I don't understand why I cry like I do-it's not shedding a few tears. I have to go into the bathroom and start hyperventilating from crying so hard.
And yes, I've tried talking with him. I feel like I try to have a conversation with him about it at least once a week but he never really responds to me in a way where we can resolve or find the root of these issues. He doesn't seem bothered about it which makes it worse for me because what if I'm overreacting?
Is any of this normal? What does it mean? I'm so lost.
I’ve been having trouble feeling the connection when me and my husband have sex too. I’ve spoken to him about it, and he doesn’t realize that sex should be a bonding/special connecting time with your spouse. He just wants to hurry and finish. We are slowly working it out. If you tried talking to him and he still doesn’t understand, maybe try couple counseling (sex therapy), and you both can be open about how you feel and really get to the bottom of it. I understand you, girl. It’s a hard process to go through and can take a long time to fix. I guess men are made different than us in that department🤷🏻♀️😔
best wishes
@Wilsonskye14 I hope you fiqure out something could try couples counseling if you're able to afford it good luck.