17 years Long Distance
I dont know where else to go woth all my thoughts and feelings, I've never posted anything like this before.
Here we go.
I moved to the USA to be with my husband of 6 years now
We were highschool sweethearts.
I'm from Australia hes a US citizen.
After YEARS of heartache to be together, I got into the US in 2019. Just before covid really hit. Things were really hard for me, moving to the USA was more of a struggle then I thought it would be. And with covid ontop I lost myself along the way.
I lost all self confidence I had and my independence...
It's something I've been working on...
Fast forward to more recent history.
My husband and I have a house together and I'm working from home trying to make a living with my artwork.
(Its going well considering I've only been at it a year!)
I took on all the housework while working on my home bussiness, I was happy too while my husband went to work at his construction job, its hard on him and he's always been a very hard worker....
But I think he resents me. When he gets angry at me for something, he stops talking to me. A complete brick wall.
This week he came home really angry, when I walked into the living room to ask him if he was okay, he shouted at me and told me to "fuck off" and "don't talk to me"
So I left him alone.... and this weekend we had made plans to clean out his car.
I slept in until 10am
(I've always had trouble falling asleep / waking up and on this day I had gone to sleep around 6am)
He refused to even look at me.. I was so tired... I kept falling back asleep my body refused to move... he hasn't talked to me for 4 days now, and has slept on the couch...
He does this everytime I do "something wrong"
I'm definitely the kind of person who prefers to be open and honest with my family....
I just dont know what to do.... I love him... I left everything and everyone to be here... I would do anything to make him happy.... but I don't think I deserve this...
Without him I have no one here in the US... I cant even drive here...
@Berriee
How do try to show love and care for him?
I try doing small things for him without him asking.
I'll get him a drink once he gets home. Cook his favorite meal when I know he's had a hard day.
Clear his nightstand everynight and have water there for him.
I'll collect his things so in the morning he doesn't have to run around looking for them... I'll randomly text him that I love him..
I dont know maybe these are just more annoying to him?
@Berriee
What are the things or methods have you tried to calm him or convince him to talk?
I asked him what was on his mind, and he told me he was upset about that day, I asked what I could do to make it up to him and he didn't say a thing to me.
I've just been giving him space.... thinking he just needed to calm down but it's been nearly a week and he still won't speak to me.
I'm not sure if I should try talking to him again or just wait for him to open up to me again?
It seems silly that he's been giving me the silent treatment for a week now....
@Berriee
on that note , the situation seems pretty bad , i hope you know what he loves to do , maybe just pull him to prepare a dish together , or maybe watch a movie together or you would fulfill one of his wishes since he is sad ( upto you if you wanna say the last part) , i think silent treatment is never the solution to the problem. either talk it out or convince him to talk or make him happy such that he is no longer sad .
So sorry you are going thru this. Its so much harder when you lack comunication and i can relate to this. Your need for communication is valid. Has opening up always been hard for him?
I suppose it always has been yes, he's always been very stubborn. I always thought it was his best/worst trait
it is hard to be at home and even working from home .... my spouse always treated me like i was just sitting here and could be doing something else .......
. the small gestures of water by the bed and cooking things he wants etc should be appreciated ........ what often happens is it becomes expected NOT appreciated ........ I know i did the same thing........
the silent treatment is because he KNOWS he is wrong but does not want to admit that....... get your drivers license and find outside connections ASAP you can not change them only YOU and living as a prisoner to his moods and only him as connection sounds like prison
