Betrayed by my wife...Don't know what to do
Recently, i found out my wife of 6 years (10 years together) was flirting by text with male co-worker. Our relationship has always been strong and never had a reason to doubt her until I found this out. We talked it out and she made me feel more at ease about it by being completely honest and open about what exactly happened. She assures me that she is very happy with our relationship but got caught up in liking the "attention" she was receiving from the co-worker (who is a known womanizer). This happened almost 2 months ago now and I still find myself FILLED with anxiety ever since. It's always on my mind. Every time I hear her phone beep, I think about it. Every time she goes out, I wonder if she's telling me the truth. I've NEVER been an anxious or jealous person. She has never given me a reason to question or doubt her until recently. I've always had 100% trust in her. I want to stay married but I am not sure how to cope with this betreyal and move on with our lives....
@ShoeTick
I honestly hope and pray that things get better for you.
@ShoeTick
Betrayal from someone you love and care about can be absolutely devastating and traumatic.
Does she still work at the same place of employment with the person she had an affair with? That wasn't made clear.
Trust has been broken.
Respect has been broken.
Honesty has been broken.
These are the core components of your marriage. It takes time, communication between you, and effort for the both of you to rebuild what has been damaged. There are some couples who are able to do this and there are unfortunately some that do not. The first thing is first, do not blame yourself. Next, realize that cheating may have been a symptom and not a core issue. I'd recommend that both of you take inventory of your marriage, what is working, what isn't, and what can improve over time - because reasons for infidelity are not always easily apparent or obvious.
You're expressing a bit of PTSD, because sounds, situations, and questions are forming due to what has happened. When people cheat, they very rarely take into consideration the impact of those that are around them, because cheating is a selfish act. I'd recommend speaking to someone about this issue, that is qualified to work with you on these issues.
As stated, look towards core issues - not symptoms, and focus on rebuilding your marriage together. This effort must be 50/50 - not one-sided. At some point, it will become very apparent to you as to what lies ahead for the future of your marriage. This will either work, or it will not.
Good luck to both of you, I hope that you're able to bridge the gap and resolve your issues together as a team.
