Boundaries

I am in a similar situation, but my father was never around and I have a brother, no sisters. My mother treats my brother like the holy child and then ordered me around like a slave! How old are you? If you don't confront this ASAP, it will damage you in the long run. I am 33 years old and developed co-dependancy b/c of my mother. Regardless I am no longer living at home, my mother still calls/texts me everyday, wants her car fixed for free (I have an auto shop), and asks to borrow money! That is not normal, yet I feel guilty if I don't help her .. why? Co-dependant. So, I assume you are still very young. Establish firm boundaries. Move away from them. (If you can). If you can't right now, don't let them know all of your personal business. Just go to work/school, come home, take care of your things, and go to sleep. Like you're renting a room basically. I had to do that, but she charged me $400/mo! And I was the one cleaning the whole house, yet I was "renting a room". Makes no sense. But, I moved out as soon as I could. I can't answer as to why people turn this way, but it is wrong. And it hurts other peoples feelings.

@Mre605

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

Hello, my family is very narcissistic, and its been really hard to cope! I lived with my sister for 3 years, and she just took complete advantage of me, and when I expressed my feelings she took nothing I said into consideration, (I get the feeling she is more focused on her insecurities, needs and how she feels to the point where she is unaware that other peole feelings do matter as well) and put what I said back on me. (She is projecting how she feels on you, so this is going to often going to cause you to become unsure and doubt how you feel) She never seems to have my back, or listen to anything I say so it makes it hard to have a sister friendship. (I can understand how it feels, its like tough to really build a connection with someone who is self-absorbed as her) I have told her I want space, and boundaries and its helped, (One of the problems with this could be consistency, if you are going to set boundaries then you must always stay firm and willing to walk away from her, if not then she will continue) but I still have a lot of resentment and again (This is normal because this has been building for a long time, and it makes it hard to resolve when the other person is very self-absorbed) its hard to have a relationship with someone who could care less about you. My mom is a lot like my sister. (Your sister learned from your mom behavior, so it makes her think like things are like this) She belittles and critizes. (Often when she critizes or belittle you is because she feels small, so she tends to do all of those things to feel better. It's quite hurtful to go through this, and it affects you on so many levels) My dad is needy, and it has to be his way. There just judgmental, uptight, and materialistic. When I go more with the flow, and dont need much to keep the positivity I try have. I feel like they all can relate to eachother, but I feel like Im completely different from them I have different views then they do, and every time I am around them I end up getting no sleep from being so anxious, (Thats understandable, its a form of disconnection from them. Its tough having people around you that are not able to relate or respect you, it often causes doubts about who we are and often causes us to not feel emotionally safe at home) and I just want to flee whenever Im around them. What are some boundaries I can take to handle my toxic Family? (To be honest, you can't change them or receive a certain type of love from them because they are incapable of doing so. You are doing a great job so far at putting boundaries so far, even though it must feel really scary to do it. It's always important to put boundaries on a kind/loving way and don't stay in conversation where you don't feel comfortable (you are allowed to leave the conversation).)