Boyfriend down. Me down.

@Bmcgla01

Even if you live in a very rural area, the telephone still works at your location, right? He could reach out to a suicide hotline number for help. There are even therapists online, at 7 Cups of Tea, which he could access via the internet without stepping foot outside of his house. There are services, even if you live several hundred miles out.

There are several aspects of this that bother me. Usually, a person that is going to end their life tend to be rather quiet about it, not announce they have a plan. I am not saying that he's making it up or faking, but certainly there is a bit of manipulation going on there. You are correct that he needs help. You've done everything, it seems, to provide him a pathway. No need to sit and blame yourself or worry about the situation as much as you already have... the only pathway that leads to is stress, anxiety, and other health issues which you do not need. I can sense the pain in your post, I know it's real and very valid.

At the end of the day, the concern is you and your overall wellbeing. He's a grown adult and fully responsible for his actions. The worst thing that you can do is place all of this onto your own shoulders and make this your project to help him. He is responsible for helping himself and based on your post - he knows he has an issue but refuses help. That does not automatically become your issue, it's actually his. It does not matter that you are together. It does not mean that you love or care about him any less. Your heart and mind are in the right place. However, he has to take responsibility for his life and his actions. You cannot make the horse drink.

You are correct. Self-care (taking care of your own emotional wellbeing) is critical in situations like these. I'd recommend you seek a qualified therapist as well to assist you with what has been going on. He/She may have some alternatives given your geographical challenges.

I wish you both luck and certainly I hope that you both get the help you need.