Boyfriend gives their favorite person all of their time
My boyfriend of almost 2 years has BPD and in the past he's switched through a couple favorite person's. The last two have really damaged me because he gives them all of his time and constantly texts them and it makes me feel really really invalid. He is starting to get a new favorite person and I'm scared it's gonna be the same thing again as before. I feel like I shouldn't bring it up bc it's something he can't control. Is there anything I can do? Or is it something I just have to deal with?
@toughRaspberries6089
Hi--can understand how that would feel really hurtful to have your boyfriend spending all of his time talking to other people and not giving as much time or attention to you.
If you feel like you're not receiving the attention or care that you'd like to receive, that's a legitimate issue to bring up to try to discuss and see whether there's anything he might be able to do differently that would help you feel like your needs are being satisfied.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/constructive-wallowing/201602/8-things-you-have-the-right-expect-your-relationship
Maybe his feelings of attachment to other people aren't entirely within
his control, but the behavior of how much time he spends with them vs. you is something that could be negotiated.
Hi there i understand how you feel my partner can be the same! Can i ask what is BPD. He suffers from anxiety and he is constantly on his phone he gives his phone more attention than me he never used to be like that wen we first dated we have been through alot in the past year there is other stuff he does the only time i actually get attention from him is the occasional cuddle in bed sometimes.
@Danni14
Hi there--BPD is an acronym for borderline personality disorder. It's a bit complicated since not everybody with BPD has the exact same experiences but some examples of common things associated with it include having an unstable/empty sense of self, strong fears of abandonment, difficulty with trusting people and maintaining relationships, mood swings, impulsive behaviors, and self-harming behaviors. Here's a link that describes it.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder
Sorry that you've been feeling like your partner isn't giving you as much attention as he used to. I wonder if it's maybe something you can discuss with him?
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-ways-spend-more-quality-time-with-your-partner.html
