Considering reaching out to someone who didn’t care about my mental health to try to help their physical health.
To give a very quick overview of the situation, I recently have gone through a break up that was related to issues that I had been having with my now former roommate (two different people). These issues ranged from her being upset with the cleanliness of the house (specifically dirty dishes, which comes into play later) to her saying I was too emotionally volatile for her to bring up issues with me. I had admitted on multiple occasions that I knew I wasn’t the cleanest, but she refused to acknowledge that this issue was heavily related to my mental health, insisting that I just needed to do better.
In short, my roommate was essentially bullying me for the past four months about how I “wasn’t doing enough”
As well, for context in this situation, my ex roommate has been having on and off stomach problems that had affected her job, financial stability, and has not been solved in about the last year and a half.
I recently found out that she hasn’t been washing the water bottle that she uses daily and got a year and a half ago. I did research on the effects of not washing a water bottle, even if it only ever has water in it. Her symptoms match up exactly. My dilemma is whether I should tell her what I’ve found out or not. I’m uncomfortable knowing that she’s going to continue to experience all of this until she cleans the bottle, but I also know she claimed that she wasn’t responsible for the effects of being unnecessarily rude and hurtful.
If I do tell her, my plan is to just send links to the articles I read on the subject with the simple tagline “Hope this helps your health”.
@bestBalsam5454
It is nice of you to try to help
i would not put anything in a tag line though i usually when doing something similar just share and say something like
"Wow imagine how many people who might not know how this can effect health" same thing but without personalizing it so she does not feel defensive and actually reads
@bestBalsam5454
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and I can understand why you are struggling with what to do. On the one hand, you don't want your ex-roommate to continue suffering needlessly, especially if it's something as simple as cleaning her water bottle. On the other hand, you don't want to come across as confrontational or insensitive, given the recent issues between the two of you.
If you do decide to tell her, I think your approach of sending links to articles about the importance of cleaning water bottles is a good one. It's not accusatory or judgmental, and it gives her the opportunity to take action without feeling like you are attacking her.
That being said, it's also important to be prepared for the possibility that she may not take the information well. If she is feeling defensive or embarrassed about her past behavior, she may not be receptive to anything you have to say, even if it's well-intentioned. In that case, it may be best to give her some space and let her come to her own conclusions about her health.
Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to tell her is up to you. Just remember to approach the situation with empathy and kindness, and to be prepared for any outcome.
Its so funny how she nagged you about the dishes but she gets poisoned from her not cleaning her bottle lol
and i feel you about not being able to clean sometimes- my adhd feels similar