Depression and no interest in sex

@HelloKitty83

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. Theres a few things I would like to point out;

Over the last 2 years our sex life and become less and less to the point where I never want it now (This relationship have basically turned into two roommates living together. I can tell you don't feel comfortable, safe, heard, understood and loved by him so this is going to make you feel less interested in having intimacy with him. Based on this sentence I can also tell he has done a lot of things that made you lose attraction for him. This relationship did run it course, but you decided to stay for certain reasons) but he does and it causes a lot of auguments between us.(This indicates his insecurities take over and then he starts saying things that doesn't make you feel safe) He makes me feel bad (You are associating negative feelings with him because of his insecure behavior, so this is going to make you feel turn off and then you will start to emotionally shut down) about it because I know it's my fault (No, its his fault) and he says things to make me feel worse. (He is being disrespectful here in an effort to make you do what he wants) He has even moved out a few times because he says sex is a important part of an relationship.(Its understandable that sex is part of his needs, but he is not behaving like an adult and causing stress on the relationship. He should discuss this with you like an adukt, but instead he starts saying whatever comes to mind) This puts me in a very low mood so much so that I can't function properly and just cant see the point in anything anymore. (He is being rude and disrespectful, so this is not the right partner to have when you are going through depression.)

I don't know what to do any more or where to turn for help, we don't want to end our relationship as we have 3 children together (Being in it for the children is the wrong move. How are the children going to learn what unconditionally love and how relationship are when their parents don't get along and constantly arguing?) but the sex problem is affecting me depression so much now. (The sex is a problem because of him, he is causing drama and tension on this relationship. Its understandable he wants sex to be a part of this relationship, but he is not behaving like an adult. He says awful things on an effort to manipulate you into doing what he wants, and not thinking how this is affecting you. Staying in a relationship for the kids will only make them unhappy because children need to see their parents showing love to one another, romanticing one another, being affectionate to one another and loving each other.)

HelloKitty83 I'm in a very similar boat to you hun. It's awful because you have been with them for so long you want to feel safe and secure with them. You believe you can trust them and their judgements they make. Especially when they look after you in many other areas of your life. But you can often cloud your own judgement as a result.

Although you say that you both want to fight for the relationship, is it that or is it a fear of losing the security of what you know? (Better the devil you know). It sounds as well that he is obviously less willing to try and fight for the relationship if he leaves whenever there is a problem and you deserve so much better than that.

Another possiblity is if you say he often leaves you what about if you get some support in place and you arrange and be in control of leaving him for a period of time? The knowledge of being in control, and support from others, can sometimes help to overcome the anxiety (in a sense of having closure almost) and can buy you the freedom to explore your own feelings and selfawareness away from the relationship.