Does being around toxic people for too long make you toxic?
I have this ex-friend who was really manipulative, controlling, and critical of things she didn't deem to be worthy. For months I'd been thinking I needed to break off the relationship, but earlier this month we ended up getting into a big fight and I finally ended it by saying I didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She didn't seem to accept this, but since then I have blocked her number and blocked her on all social media. Whenever we got into a fight before over something, I would always apologize to keep the peace but I never quite forgave her, or rather, I learned that she is a very difficult person to reason with. As a result, I gave up trying and just acted like it didn't bother me when she did or said something rude, even though it actually hurt my feelings. I've also utilized this coping mechanism with my toxic dad, even though I know it is unhealthy. It just created less problems that way. However, we still ended up fighting and my true feelings all came out, and our relationship still ended. I feel like I should have told her more often when she hurt my feelings, since she's not an inherently bad person, she's just very mentally unhealthy. But since her reactions have been so bad in the past, I was afraid. I know I shouldn't be worrying about this stuff now, but I'm scared that I'm toxic in some ways too without realizing, and also I'm afraid that she hasn't accepted I need to move on for my own mental health.
@Evenstar8
I don't think it can make you toxic, in the sense you become nasty like them, but it certainly can mentally affect you and bring you down! That's why toxic people are worth leaving in the past. I'm happy for you being able to take the big step of ending a friendship with this person; she doesn't sound nice at all! I don't think you owe her an explanation or any answers for what you've done. Some people like that know exactly what they're doing, especially those who are manipulative; you have to really think about what you're doing and what you hope to gain in order to manipulate someone. You don't deserve to suffer her bad reactions or to suffer from her toxicity any longer! You did the right thing. ♥
@Evenstar8
Depending on the person, I think generally it is possible to become like the people around us, and it certainly happens to some people - probably because we're social creatures and naturally want to fit in and be alike.
However, in your specific case, I personally don't think you've acted in any wrong or bad way. One can't always take the high road and be morally spotless, or avoid any confusing emotions and even gulit in situations like break-ups (friendships or relationships). It's natural to feel some kind of fallout, and your concern about the situation and your feelings and actions just proves further you are not toxic or bad.
