Feeling guilty a year later

@ChaoticMind220

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. Theres a few things I would like to point out;

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years now. Last year around this time, we hit a bump in the road. We were constantly fighting. (This would usually indicate you both used to trigger each other constantly). One night at dinner he told me he no longer had a desire to have sex with me. (This must had been very hurtful to hear from a person you love, it would make you feel all sort of things) That comment broke me. After that, I ended up cheating on him.(I believe you felt hurt, anxious and afraid after what he said to you, so in that moment you wanted to feel desired and attractive by this other person. I could only imagine the amount of hurt you felt after your bf said those words to you) 2 weeks later we broke up due to all of our issues. We took a 3 month break and got back in February. Since being back together, we have been better than ever. We are in couples therapy which has helped majorly. We rarely fight and instead work thru our issues. (Its amazing how time apart and working on personal growth does) We have been talking about engagment and I have a feeling he may do it when we go away on vacation in January.

My issue is, i am now feeling guilty for cheating a year ago. (I can tell this is something you haven't forgive yourself and have not work on healing from it, so it keeps coming back because the mind is trying to tell you is something you need to heal from with time and with the therapist) When he and i got back in Feb. I half admitted to him that I cheated. I told him tbe thought was there and that I met up with someone but didnt do anything even though we did. I dont think I can tell him the truth. Am I a horrible person for saying yes to a propsoal from a man I cheated on? (The cheating part happened in the past, although i could see why you would feel guilty, but back then you had a different mindset than now. I don't want to point fingers, but i think you both played a role on what happened because its horrible hearing those words from him, and in your case you were seeking to feel a certain way) Do I tell hin and ruin all of the progrss we have made?(That's a tough question to answer, I understand where you are coming from, however I strongly believe this is something you should discuss with the therapist in a 1 on 1 session on order to come up with a plan to resolve this) I an truly at a loss. I cant be without him but I do feel guilty as I should. (Guilt its one of the most painful feelings to have because it almost feel as if its eating you alive and this hole in the chest that doesn't seem to go away. You feel guilty about the cheating, but you are blaming yourself for the entire thing which isn't fair. I'm not excusing what happened, but what he said was awful at the time, which triggered you to feel disconnected from him and alone.)