(Financial) Red Flag?
Last night my boyfriend admitted he was lazy and dependent on me early in our relationship. It made me question if this is something I should be careful of because while it is hard to "prove" and I don't want to feel like I am being used for finances and to provide stability for both of us. He has been injured for about 2 years now but we also have only had one car most of our time dating too. I feel bad sometimes for sounding mean, but I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or insight?
@cskyles32- sounds like you are already raising questions about the relationship. Was this a surprise when he informed you that he was lazy and dependent upon you early in the relationship. What is the current situation like- is he working- or is this injury causing him to be disabled. Only you can answer the questions- what is he bringing to the relationship now- Do you feel like he is using you financially at the present time. And how do you envision this relationship in a year's time- or 5 or 10. Best of luck to you.
@cskyles32 firstly ask if you still love him and then ask yourself if him being dependant in your early relationship has effected the way you feel about him now there is nothing i say here that will give you the answers you need to seek them for yourself as your the only one who knows how you feel about this situation and about him.
@cskyles32
dependent relationships can be hard at times on the other person, who is baring them. I agree with you about baring 50-50 share of finances towards you both as in together.
@cskyles32 It's completely understandable that your boyfriend's admission of being lazy and dependent on you early in the relationship has raised concerns and made you question the dynamics of your partnership. Financial stability and independence are important aspects to consider in any relationship, and it's natural to want to ensure that you're not being taken advantage of. I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns and feelings regarding the financial aspects of your relationship. Express your need for financial equality and discuss your expectations moving forward. It's essential to have transparent communication about individual responsibilities and contributions to ensure a healthy and balanced partnership. This dialogue can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work together to address any potential imbalances. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and ensure that you're in a relationship where you feel valued and supported, both emotionally and financially.
@cskyles32 It is quite normal to have all these questions and feel this kind of way. It is important to also check if it is something you think you can cope with in the long run.
Ultimately, it is up to you to decide. Sending lots of hugs and comfort so you get the strength to make this tough analysis and decision.
@cskyles32
It is completely normal to not want to be taken advantage of, because you can only do so much for a person without burning out. It can truly be an unfair experience. It seems him saying that he was lazy and dependent during the early stages of your relationship, made you think that maybe he was still actively doing so on purpose. Now, if the injury is what is preventing him, he could be genuinely ashamed of his dependency, but you might also be connecting some dots. It really depends on the exact details of your relationship and daily life. There is a lot to consider before coming to a specific conclusion.
Oh wow interesting. If you’re okay with being depended on financially, then go for it! But if not, break it off.
@cskyles32
I totally understand you😔. It’s totally valid to question the balance in your relationship, especially when you feel like you're carrying more of the weight. @cskyles32 it’s important to consider if you’re feeling supported in the ways that matter to you. May I ask you, have you considered talking with him about how you both can contribute to the relationship in a way that feels more balanced?
@cskyles32 it’s good that he was honest about it, but it’s also totally fair for you to question if this is a pattern. Support should go both ways in a relationship, and if you feel like you're carrying most of the weight like financially or otherwise, it’s worth having a deeper conversation. You deserve a partnership, not just a responsibility. 💙
@cskyles32
It is completely normal to experience a bit of concern at this time. Feeling like the relationship needs balance is nothing to be ashamed of. It is important to talk about how you feel-let him know that you want to support him, but you also want to have that feeling of contribution from both sides. This could help set boundaries and talk about where things are headed to clarify whether you are both on the same page.