Help

@intuitiveSkies636

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

He stopped for that moment…and after that when i returned..he stopped text regularly…(It was really unfair how he treated you, and you honestly didn't deserve to go through this. He comes across as manipulative, and often see people as objects) when i asked the reason ..he said if i cnt give. Wat i want then..i think it will nt work…(This is awful...it must had make you feel really afraid of losing him. I can tell he used this manipulation on attempt to force himself upon you) i like a fool agreed to this..(I don't think you agreed to this because you are fool. I believe fear and anxiety was the main reason it lead you to do this. I believe that saying "no" , expressing yourselfand standing up for yourself are the scariest things for you to do, because in the past it would lead to punishment or abandonment. I think your past trauma took over the present, which made you please him to receive love from him) and then frm that day onwards..whenever i visited his house.. He used to just take me to bedroom..and forcefully just kiss me everywhere..and i will be there struggling..(You really went through a lot here, its awful the way he treated you here. I believe you also struggled with doing what you feel vs dealing with those feelings of "If i don't do what he wants then he will abandon me". Those two things are very very difficult to go through because the mind,emotions and bondy often are taken to the past where you were extremely hurt) And when its done ..he will react as if nothing has happened……….everytime he used to convince me by just saying… he loves me..trust him..(He sounds like a person who is selfish. I feel like you truly wanted to connect and feel loved by him, but his ways would make you feel sad and uncomfortable)

Wat is my fault in all this y i had to suffer this shit..never hurted anyone in my lyf.(I can see why you would think like this after what you experienced. I don't think you are at fault here, but i can tell how you were treating growing up played a major impact in decision making. People who grew up with unmet needs will have a hard time choosing between their need to be loved vs walking away from a toxic situation because they don't want to feel alone) .i hv always helped everyone…(This is very kind of you, but do you feel those relationships have equal investment?) never thot bad abt anyone.. Then y nly me..i came into relationship bcoz even i wanted to experience bf feeling..nt to experience this shit. (I think its understandable you wanted to experience this, and its tough what you experience. At first, it is extremely hard noticing red flags because of how the honeymoon phase or when those unmet needs are being met)

Plz tell me hw to overcome frm this..day by day i m breaking frm inside.. (I can tell the anger, guilt, shame and regret are whats really impacting you this way. There's also a chance you might be beating yourself up from what happened, which it definetly prologing the hurt phase. It's not your fault what happened, they are toxic people out there who only care about themeselves, and its very unfortunate they hurt people who are good) ihe s living his lyf as if nothing happened..(Thats what you see on the outside or in his social media, but people like them are similar to addicts, and only look for any kind of external validation or to to feel good. Thats not happiness) But to me it has moved s me frm inside ..nt able to concentrate on my studies plz some one guide me for this. (There's a chance you might be distracting yourself or trying to push it to the back of your mind or to push it to the side. It's so important to always stop what you are doing to feel those feelings without judging them if they are right or wrong.)