He says I’m the problem
I try to be the best wife ever. I try to give him whatever he wants, I try to agree with anything he says. I try not to nag, I may ask a question but I do not push an issue. But for him to repeatedly tell me that he wants to leave hurts. It hurts so bad like I am just the worst person ever. Did he ever really want me? What the *** is this? He has no emotions towards me and makes me feel like I am wrong for my emotions. I try to silently cry so he won’t be agitated by my tears. It’s like I’m hurting him by being sad. But all I have asked him to do is the things we talked about before we got married. He says I changed. No I’m not as happy as I was in the beginning but that’s because of the things he has made me feel like he is hiding. And he continues to hide stuff and then make it like I am crazy when he is actually doing stuff and not telling me. I don’t want him to leave but maybe he should because I know this isn’t right. It’s not right for him to say he tells me everything when in actuality he doesn’t. Then tell me I’m playing a victim. I have not asked to be saved or for any help. I don’t understand how I am work. I don’t get how I am asking for to much.
Sounds like a tough situation, but you got this!
@lay86lay
well , these are all the emotions you feel , thats ok but whats the issues. we would love to hear what really happened . cause that is what will help us help you.
@lay86lay
Marriage is a partnership not a job ..... simply no way to please someone by not being you..... that is who i assume he fell in love with.... and yes people do Change all the time............ i am different then i was last week....
he might feel overburdened if you are not a partner and expect him to make all decisions ect as if he makes a wrong one .... think back and how were you when you started out ? you need to be a person with a life not just trying to be a perfect wife and assume what he wants you NEED to communicate ....
Sometimes you aren't asking for too much, you're just with someone who doesn't want to meet your needs or is incapable of it, so they perceive you as demanding. In reality, you're just expressing your needs, but someone who doesn't want to fulfill them will feel pressured by this and come to resent you for it. Sometimes this is due to incompatibility and not necessarily the other person's fault.
But it sounds like the real problem here is that there's a lack of transparency (deceit) and gaslighting going on, which are things to watch out for. Being honest with your partner should be a requirement and isn't asking too much. It sounds like the trust has really broken down here on both sides. It's hard to resolve things when your partner keeps telling you they want out.
It sounds like you have a good grip on what you are willing to put up with and not willing to put up with within a relationship though. It's definitely a difficult position to be in, but I believe you'll sort it out.