How to deal with gf who's not over with her ex yet?

@frank29 This is a hard choice. You care for her despite her heart seeming to be in the past. She still seems to be recovering for the time-being as naturally anyone would after ending things. She may not even realize she's still stuck and what she's doing. That's where the dreaded r word comes in---rebound. You have to consider different possibilities in this situation. A good idea may also be to talk to her about things. Either way, I wish you good luck in your endeavors. :)

This is why you'll have to decided in the end what to do. Hope things work out well! Hear are some questions to consider:

How long do you think it will take her to move on?

When she does, do you think she will still feel the same way about you?

Are you willing to wait however long it takes with possibly no reward?

@frank29

Well sorry but I'll only be honest about this, dud ur girlfriend is plain wrong on this bcz if she wasn't over her ex boyfriend she should have never come in a relationship with you.

Now when she is in a relationship with you, ill just say that u should let her go bcz if u try to help her moving on, that would become a rebound n if anytime she has a meeting with her ex coincidentally / non coincidentally it'll only result in her going back to how things were n u would have to help her again, this would go fr sm times n she'll either understand herself n break up with u, n trust me that will hurt u more than breaking up now, n if she doesn't then u'll always be a second choice n knowing that will hurt, hurt more than just breaking up.

So, in the end choice is yours but trust me, ull get hurt in the end no matter what, sorry this is blunt n might hurt u too, but its the only reality

@frank29 If she's still reading old conversations from her ex, she's still not over him. You're going to have to decide if you're willing to wait or willing to share this space with him. You can't really make her or help her get over him: she's got to make that choice and do the work.

I think that you should tell this to her, you need to clearly state that this thing is not fair and that she needs to move on from the past if she wants to enjoy a new relationship with you, she's the only one who can solve this situation and needs to face this thing once and for all, because living in the past is hurting not only the relationship you currently have, but her life as well. I wish all the best to the two of you

@frank29

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My girlfriend is not over with her ex-boyfriend yet and I dont know if I should let her go because of that (You want to date or be in a relationship with women who are emotionall available because it's going to make things a lot easier. She is obiously not emotionally available and has not healed from what happened, so the chances of you getting hurt are high) or help her move on and wait until she finally loves me for real. (This tells me you are looking to feel loved and validation, it will not happen until she is over her ex. It's a process she needs to deal on her own.) When we go out on a date, I sometimes noticed her thinking deep while looking at her phone. (This indicates she is not having fun on the dates, not being present with you and her heart being somewhere else) She sometimes reread her conversation with her ex. (This means she is not over the past hurt, so she will not be able to connect with you when she is not over him. To be honest? I wouldn't waste my time invite someone who checks her phone a lot or reread her conversaion with her ex, you should want someone who is excited to see you) When we were eating at a foreign restaurant one time, she only stared at her food, probably thinking something from the past. (She is showing low interest here) I even dont know if shes happy being with me. (She has low attraction and its still stuck in past hurt about her ex) I never heard her say she loves me. (This is a red flag, this means she is kinda going along with the relationship since her ex is unavaliable) I love her but this relationship is not healthy. (This means you are more into her, than she is into you at the moment) Should I let her go now? (Yes, because she is emotionally unavailable, and you want to be in a relationship with a woman who is available and ready to be in a relationship)