I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 years.
I've been with him since I was 17 and now I am 24. We are of the same age. This is the 3rd time I broke up with him. Overall in our relationship, we didn't grow. We don't trust each other. We are both jealous. Even a change on chat or missing emoji will be an issue. I put up with it cause I'm sure it's him I want forever but now that he is inlove with me again, but still no trust and always jealous, I got tired. I was just over it. And I find myself thinking about experiencing new things. But now I feel like falling apart, I loved him so much and I think I still do now so its hard to see him so hurt and I wish I still feel 100% for him but I am not that girl anymore and I hate myself for that. I have thoughts of getting him back. I am crazy. Help me. I cannot be single cos he is like my bestfriend too and I tell him everything and we do everything together but I am just tired and I want new things but I dont wanna hurt him and I feel like I am gonna regret this forever. I am so torn. HELP ME
@Helpmesister
Hey there, thank you so much for sharing. I hear that you're going through a tough time with your breakup. I can understand why it might be so tough to deal with especially considering the fact that you've been together for 8 years! That is a very long time.
You also mentioned that you've broken up with him 3 times and that your relationship didn't grow during all these years. You also mentioned other issues like lack of trust and jealousy. Those are some characteristics which don't sound vwry healthy and I understand why they're creating so many problems.
You want to go back to him because you still might have feelings for him but they're not 100%, and of course I understand that he's your best friend since you both have been together for so long.
Sometimes, things just don't work out because of differences between people but that doesn't mean all hope is lost. I would suggest you to try and talk things out with him if you haven't already done that and if that hasn't worked either, you don't have to cut him off from your life just because you've broken up. As you said, he's still your best friend and you share everything with him. I feel like it would hurt you both immensely if you both just cut off contact or become distant. Maybe try searching your brain for more options on what can be done and ask yourself what you would suggest a friend who's in a similar situation.
I'm also attaching a 7 Cups self-help guide about Breakup Advice here, it might be of help for you:
https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/