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I can’t seem to shake someone

User Profile: sociableJar2051
sociableJar2051 April 30th, 2021

I have been in a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 years now- we started dating at the end of highschool and moved to a new city together to do post-secondary. However, the whole time, despite how much I absolutely love my boyfriend, my mind keeps wondering about a guy who I used to talk to when I was like 16. It’s extremely frustrating but I can’t help but wonder about him because I’ve literally never dated anyone else and I feels like I’m kind of strapped in now because it’s been so long. I feel so bad even typing this, but does this mean I still have feelings for him? I just don’t understand because I have everything I could ever want so I don’t know why I wander to thinking about an ex (that I never ever dated!). He has tried to refollow me on Instagram a few times over the years, but my boyfriend is an extremely jealous person so I’ve declined every time- however I feel like being able to “see” him may help lessen me potentially over-fantasizing/over-playing his good qualities, if that makes sense? I’m just not really sure what to do because I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend and I also don’t even know why I still think of this other guy every once and a while- ahhhhhh. And I have tried to forget about them but for some reason he keeps coming back :( I’ve wondered if it was from a lack of closure but I have no idea. Sigh. Sorry rant over!

2
User Profile: ouiCherie
ouiCherie May 27th, 2021

Hi @sociableJar2051

Don't be sorry and you're not ranting 😊

You're in a happy longterm relationship but curious about someone from the past that you never got a chance to know more before?

In a longterm relationship, the novelty usually has faded even when the love may last forever 😊 Can you recall when did you start thinking about this other guy?

On a scale 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all and 10 being completely, how would you rate your contentment being with your boyfriend?

1 reply
User Profile: sociableJar2051
sociableJar2051 OP June 18th, 2021

@ouiCherie Yeah you nailed it! And the thing is I feel like ive continuously, randomly thought about him over the past few years. And I hate it. My "thing" with the ended a little before I started to date my now partner, and I'm not sure if it's because I never got complete closure or if I'm attracted to him but again, I literally havent seen him or talked to him since I started dating my partner now. And from 1-10 I feel like overall it's like an 8/9! Like things are quite good for the most part, which makes me feel worse about it all

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