I don't feel a connection with a lot of the people
After returning to an original house of worship, I am finding that I am having trouble connecting with a lot of people at this congregation. The main problem is that people at this congregation are cliquey and seem to have no problem making people feel like they are invisible. Some of them also have no problem talking to to them any way they want.
I was there recently and
1. People said hi to me and just went to talk with their own friends
2. The cantor called me out twice for trying to say the liturgy when it was just for the teachers
3. One lady approached me and started poking her nose in my business about my weight and I told her that it was none of her business.
I am not leaving this synagogue because the services are very good and there are some other ministries I enjoy being a apart of. I don't want to join the women's ministry because they are very cliquey and petty.
Hi @Summershy,
It can be really difficult sometimes to make friends in settings where people are cliquey. I have had this experience as well. It can have an effect on your self-esteem as well as make you feel as if you are not worth their time and attention. Please know that you are worth it!
If they do not want to engage with you, it is their loss. Be confident in the person that you are. They may not be worth your time and energy. Continue to attend the services and events that make you happy and that you feel most comfortable. Who knows - maybe when you least expect it you may meet a new friend for life!
If you feel that you need to speak to a member or other Listeners, don't be afraid to reach out!
Take care and stay safe.
@KristinaJ86
There are nice people there too but I feel like a lot of them are not even there right now because of the pandemic. Actually, there were a few nice people there but they ignored me this time as well.
I know I don't want to get involved with their women's ministry after talking to another woman and attending in the past. The women in that group do things they are not supposed to.
@Summershy
I understand. Do you feel obligated to be a part of certain groups? Is there a way to be an active member of the congregation but not be involved in too many of the groups? Maybe doing things that you can do on your own or with a small group of people that you do like.
Also, what if you created something of your own to work on that would benefit the church. You can make a difference but also engage with and have those who you want to be involved.
@KristinaJ86I
I am a member and I am involved in
1. Monthly prayer meetings
2. I want to join the bible study group