I'm a 30 year old kissless virgin and feel like I'm doomed to die alone.
I have a ton of baggage. I mean a TON. But rather than get into all the details of my childhood, I'll just lay out the most immediate problems. I'm 30 years old I'm morbidly obese I still live with my mother I have a mediocre job making an unlivable wage I have no formal education I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship I'm in debt This all results in an extreme lack of self-esteem, absolutely zero confidence, and crippling loneliness/depression. My greatest fear is that I'll die alone, and I feel like time is running out for me to turn my life around. I've lost weight. I was over 400 pounds, and I'm not down below 350, but the extremely slow progress has me wishing I could grab a knife and just carve the fat off of me. I'm disgusted by my body. I'm embarrassed by my financial situation. I hate myself for allowing myself to get this way. I have a pretty good idea of what has caused this, and it goes all the way back to my early childhood. I know I need therapy... but with my debt and low income, I can't afford it. I feel hopeless. I crave intimacy, but I have nothing to offer anyone in return, and feel like I will never find anyone who loves me. This makes me so insecure that I avoid any and every chance to even try to form a relationship with anyone. Because what woman wants a broke fat man who lives with his mom?
honestly i’m not an expert or anything but i’ve been in a place where i’ve felt quite depressed and not confident about my body, but i honestly got past it by initially installing a fake confidence in myself, just telling myself i’m hot af without even feeling it and eventually i began to gain more confidence, bcos everyone is beautiful, you may not like your body but someone else will love every part of it and that’s true, and if you can manage to push yourself with the “fake confidence” you give yourself, and get out there and just talk to people, you will eventually find someone that will bring out the real confidence in you, also many ppl that are in similar situations to you, living at home with their parents, mediocre job, they find love and happiness, many people just like you do, it’s nothing to be embarrassed or worried about, it’s hard these days to find good work and housing is expensive
@frankHickory2217 sorry to hear that it's tough to find someone but maybe it best to work on yourself before getting into a relationship may be professional help rather it be counseling or Therapy good luck with whatever path you decide to take.
This is just a forum so what we tell you shouldn’t be taken legitimately but, I’ve seen people first hand who have turned their life around after being stuck in what they called a miserable phase. It’s definitely not easy and took a long process to get there but change really is a challenge, especially when it’s a change in mindset. The best thing I learned is to take things in baby steps and don’t focus too much on the future. Think about what you can do right now that would make you feel at least an ounce of fulfilment, whether it be reading a book, going for a walk, or even just taking a nice shower. And then try to do more of these things day after day. The key isn’t to do something huge in one day, it’s the small consistent habits that make the biggest impacts in the long run. Even loving yourself takes time to genuinely take effect. Remember that you do not need a reason to love yourself. You just do. You were given a chance to experience being alive in this crazy yet wonderfully beautiful world, and that in itself makes you special. It doesn’t matter where you came from or what you have today. None of that defines you. You define you, and who you are now isn’t all you can become. Love yourself for not only who you are now but for who you aspire to be. Love yourself because the fact that you have these aspirations is special too. Know that you will always be growing, learning, and that happiness isn’t found in the right financial status or lifestyle. Happiness is a mindset and sometimes you have to practice maintaining that mindset. I know this is a lot to say from someone online, but know that there are people out there who care for you, people who are also feeling the way you do, and people who are also trying to change like you are. You’re never actually alone :)