Insecurities in my Relationship
Ive been in this relationship for almost a year and a half now and Im not feeling the same way I once did, the past few months I just have been having this wave of insecurities and depression but its not all coming from the relationship but its the main part, hes not a bad guy he does provide for my family, we do have a baby together, but I feel we arent meeting each others needs he needs someon whos more of a care taker to him and is more emotionally available to some things and I need reassurance and more commitment a lot of it does come from past relationships and some bumps weve had and I cant let things go, I dont know why I dont understand why I cant let things go, and it plays on my insecurities big time, he could be here for me 24/7 tell me how much he loves me and everything he loves and sees in me but its gotten to a point where none of it matters and I just point out what he does wrong or he does something that adds to my insecurities and I just feel anger towards him we have views on different things that does cause fights and i feel I dont want to be in this relationship anymore but not for any reason that I dont want to be with him or I dont love him, or he makes me miserable, my insecurities and depression are getting worse and I want to leave before I get hurt, or I hurt him, I dont love myself and I dont feel happy, I love him and I love our family I just dont know what to do I cant stay in a place where Im making him and myself miserable because he cant understand me and I cant understand myself I dont trust him and I have no reason not to but its like Im just waiting for him to cheat or to leave me I dont understand Im miserable with myself and I want to fix our relationship I dont want to leave I love him more than anything but I need help
@modestOrange3314 Hello! Thank you so much for sharing your concerns with us. It seems like depression is really taking toll on you and your relationships and what you feel is really valid. Trust issues can be huge and I can understand how it making you feel more bad. And seems like you love your family and emotions are getting out of place. Have you tried sharing your concerns with him? How did he react if he did? I hope things get better for you 
@modestOrange3314
Hi. I'm glad you have been able to share your considered thoughts about the situation in which you find yourself.
I hear that there is a lot going on for you, but want to focus just on one thing you say.
but I feel we arent meeting each others needs - oh this is so common in couples, and is the area that a lot of couples in relationships in sorting out between themselves. If you can meet each others needs then you have every chance of having a good relationship. Everyone has needs that we need to be met.
So suggesting a possible way forward for you, is to sit down with your man, and share what what you need each other to DO.
For example what is it you need your man to DO to satisfy your needs. I have put do in capitals because its that what you need to tell him,
Eg you have a need for reassurance, and if it woud satisfy your need if he told you every day that he loved you, then thats what you tell him. You cant just say to him I want to feel reassured without telling him how to do that for you.
I hope that helps. I am a listener here so if you think it would help then feel free to message me or leave a reply, whatever you are most comfortable with or think woud be the most useful.
Take care
paul
