Is it reasonable to ask my boyfriend to delete his ex
My boyfriend's ex is someone I used to be friends with and I'm really bothered by her. When I first started dating my boyfriend, the two of them had recently broken up and she was not fully over it so she was furious. He couldn't even tell her about the relationship for over a month because he was scared of her reaction, and when he finally did, the girl went all the way to his house and demanded an explanation.
She has blocked me off of all her social media and my friends have shown me posts of her posting some not great things for me on line. She even tried to spread a rumor to my friends that he didn't really want to be with me, and would never have sex with me (I can't begin to imagine the reasoning behind that one). I really want to trust my boyfriend but early on in the relationship he would leave me in the middle of conversations to take phone calls with her when she was angry and pretend he wasn't seeing me. I remember one time she saw us talking together and pulled him aside to ask what exactly he was doing with me, and he still wouldn't admit to our relationship. It really hurt me and made me feel unimportant to him at the time. I wished he had the courage to stand up to her. I asked him multiple times to block her but every time he told me it would just cause more problems because she would find a way to talk to him one way or another.
Over time, things between them have colled down and she has stopped contacting him for the most part, but it makes so upset how he was never willing to stand up to her for me. He wouldn't even unadd her when she publicly posted about a very personal family situation of mine, because he didn't want to create more problems with her. Even though she is not an active problem in my life, I am still hurt by what happened before and can't really bring myself to forgive and forget. recently, his birthday passed and she started texting him again, which raised unreasonable red flags in my mind. Should i ask him to unadd her on social media? I just bothers me how she blocks me and disrespects me and expects him to show some kind of respect for her.
@Jcarceroni
it sounds like right away at the very beginning he felt a certain obligation to tell her things and include her it might be that she was/is a very controlling person and in their relationship demanded accountability for all his actions > " He couldn't even tell her about the relationship for over a month because he was scared of her reaction, and when he finally did, the girl went all the way to his house and demanded an explanation " so he has given her power over him and he feels obligated to her past his romantic relationship with her he is still in a relationship with this person he still feels that he must meet her demands of him - it might be that he doesnt even realize that hes continuing to give her power over his actions she is his ex and he doesnt need to explain or give her notice of anything he does with anyone else or obligated to talk to her whenever she wants to talk to him - it just sounds like he has given her a lot of power and she still has it ... he is allowing it for some reason maybe have a talk with him and ask him why he is giving her so much authority over him when they are no longer in a relationship