Left in a hotel room
Hi all,
My manager tried really hard to be liked by me for almost 2 years. He was very kind, understanding and eventually we started talking every day. He showed me he cared about me, we shared a lot with each other and he constantly tried to show me he had feelings for me. I was honest that told me I am not sure about mine.
Fast forward to 2 months back, we had gone to few dates, he got an offer from abroad and we kissed before he left. He came back after 3 weeks and we actually had a great time and I shared my feelings. He went back and we kept contact but he seemed abrupt (I told him we can cut contact bc of the distance or if his feelings changed). He kept reassuring me, that's just him but his feelings for me didn't change, we talked for hours and all seemed fine. We had promised that no matter what we will always be honest to each other and after SO long I genuinely trusted him.
After another 4 weeks I went to visit him (this Tuesday, we had planned this and he was looking forwardto it) and we had dinner then walked to his hotel. He started kissing me, we hugged for a bit and then he stood up and said he hadn't been honest towards me, he lost feelings and he thought seeing me would change that but it didn't, he had slept from someone from work and kissed someone else as well.
I was shocked. Couldn't believe it. He wanted me to leave. It seemed like he couldn't stand me, the person who was so kind and caring wasn't there. I spent the night in another room and woke up feeling very sad and disappointed. But he didn't even try to check up on me, not once. He didn't even care about me as a person? I tried to tell him I felt bad and later during the day texted him that I feel better and hope he does too. No reply.
Few days past and he blocked me off social media and just seems to be hating me. I am left with all the questions and am crying for days but it just doesn't seem to get better. I don't understand how did this happen, how did I deserve it and why did he just disappear after so much effort and time.
I don't know what to do, if anyone has advice it is welcome.
@wintertales12 I need info. You say he was your manager. Did you start dating while you were working for him? Was there any type of relationship before you started working under him?
Hopie
He was transferred to the store I was working at. Was my manager but we weren't in any kind of relationship before he was my manager, I didn't even know him. We kept talking every day and around August this year we started going on dates bc he was insisting a lot. Then when we knew he was gonna move somewhere else I became more open and the kissing happened and me planning the trip was after he moved to another store. He wasn't my manager anymore.
I see. It sounds like he used his position as your boss to start something and then it ended poorly. Have you been able to have a talk with him since your last post about why he changed his mood suddenly?
No, he never asked me how I felt after that night, I tried reaching out he ignored. Maybe bc he is already sleeping with someone else from work. But it is very painful to know that he chose this way. I told him many times that he can be honest and we can always end the contract if he wanted to. He kept reassuring me there was nothing. I really want to talk to him to put things at rest but am pretty sure will also block me off WhatsApp if I try.
When you say contract… is this related to work or to the relationship? To me, from the outside, it sounds like the relationship didn’t start on a healthy footing. I know it hurts to be treated this way.
I meant contact, I offered to stop talking to each other as he mentioned he wasn't good with distance. Then we talked till the morning with him assuring me about his feelings and that we will be fine etc. But then he just acted to disrespectful towards me by choosing to leave me like that. He had so many chances to just tell me he didn't feel the same anymore but he chose to hurt me.
I’m sorry. He’s totally a jerk.