Mental abuse
My girlfriend always told me that I am toxic and manipulative over and over again. I didn’t know what she meant by manipulative, I didn’t know a thing about manipulation. But she continued to call me manipulative. Finally I researched manipulation and couldn’t recall a moment I’ve done anything of the sort of what I found. Interested I researched more into manipulation and found out that she is manipulative, I thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. Felt like a monster, thought I was a problem because I was “toxic and manipulative.” She doesn’t know that I know more about manipulation now, so whenever we get into arguments about something when we don’t agree she will call me manipulative as a defense mechanism. She hasn’t stopped this behavior but in a way I think she manipulated me by telling me that I was toxic and manipulative and made me feel horrible about myself to make herself feel better when we argue. I know that I am not the problem, and that I am not manipulative. But I believed I was terrible for so long and it really messed up my mental health.
I know how you feel, this is happening to me with my ex after I removed him from my life for manipulative behavior. It makes you question who you are and what you’re actually like and it eats you up. You just have to remind yourself that you know who you are and you can see the real her. She sounds insecure and tries to bring you down to feel better about herself and to have power over you. I would try talking to her about it and if she just gets defensive, maybe it’s time you think about leaving. Healthy relationships are not supposed to severely damaging your mental health.
@Ybgbilly
You didn't provide much in the way of detail, but I can say that what you are describing can happen. People can weaponize guilt and mental health buzzwords. What is important is that you educate yourself, have firm boundaries, and concentrate on what is best for you.