Miscarriage, infidelity and heartache
I was in a 4 year same-sex relationship. Engaged. Decided to start a family and I fell pregnant but we lost the baby at 16 weeks. A month later my partner came home and unexpectedly ended our relationship. I was totally blindsided. Turns out she was having an affair with a colleague she had been getting support from since our loss. The affair continued but stopped when the other womans partner found out. A few months later my partner wanted to try rebuild. I agreed to try provided she give it time and effort and see a counsellor if we werent able to get things moving. After a month she told me she was in love with me and had been very lost and confused recently. She assured me every day that things were headed in the right direction and I was learning to trust her again. Then 6 weeks into rebuilding, after I thought that we had a lovely date night, she ended it again. She says she loves and cares for me but she isnt in love with me. She can no longer see a future with me and sees me as a friend only.
Im so broken. Ive lost so much. Now we have to sell our house and pack up our whole lives. I didnt even know there were issues. In the weeks after we lost the baby she told me she loved me more than ever. Im so confused and cant seem to pull myself out of my misery. Its been 6 weeks since she left and shes told like that theres no chance of us ever getting back together. Help!
I'm so sorry about this. Maybe the pain of the loss lead her to do things she wouldn't have done otherwise, from cheating to finally leaving you. I believe you deserved an explanation at least, but if she didn't provide it, maybe she didn't have a rational explanation either - she just felt that way, and it's hard to argue with feelings. Maybe you could still try to talk for her to at least understand better what happened, if it can make you feel better to make this attempt. Anyway, you always did your best for her and none of this is your fault. You have shared a lot and I'm sure you've made each a better person. This is something that you'll both carry with you forever.
You will be happy again. The human ability to find happiness again after a great pain is incredible. But this is the hardest moment, when everything hurts and it seems impossible to move on or to ever be happy again. Right now is the time to face life day by day, moment by moment. Trying to make plans can be scary, so just focus on taking care of yourself and trying to do anything that makes you feel happy, be it dedicating time to your passions, your work, your friends or family. Carry on. Go through another day. Little by little you'll be able to feel happy again, without even knowing how you did it. But you'll need to keep taking little steps until that moment. Don't be afraid to look for any kind of support you can get. I wish you the best with all my heart!