My boyfriend and his mum call me lazy
I have been feeling really paranoid lately so I seen an opportunity to go threw my boyfriend's phone I ended up coming across texts between him and his mum calling me "lazy and stupid" this really hurt knowing that he could call me this or let his mum say this considering I'm carrying his child. I know he runs to his mum after any argument we have no matter how small as I've read texts between them before he makes me out to be the bad one everytime shes tried convincing him to leave me plenty times before. Right now I'm unsure what to do if I should stay with him or not I try not to let what they say get to me but after reading the latest texts I'm really hurt by what they have said.
@LilacCat02
I am sorry to hear this has been happening to you. I always say communication is key in relationships. Have you tried telling your boyfriend how that has made you feel? It can surely be upsetting knowing that him and his mother have been talking about you when you aren't present and it's okay to feel hurt. There could be a lot of reasons why your boyfriend is doing that, so have you tried to think about things you can do to approach this?
@tranquilbear14 I tried talking to him about it he got annoyed with me and didn't want to talk about it
@LilacCat02
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. I can see why you feel the way you do after reading the text exchanges between his mom and him, and it's normal you feel unsure about the relationship. There's a couple of points I would like to mention;
1) I think it's unfair you are being called "Lazy or stupid" by both, and it's a situation where it's important to put your well being and yourself first. A person whom only see the negatives in you is not someone who shouldn't be worth keeping in your life. This is going to make you feel hurt, disconnected and sad because someone you love thinks negatively of you.
2) His mom and him are enmeshed, this is going to cause major problems in the relationship, and how you two will parents the child. His mom control his life, and is willing to sabotage the relationship you two have. His mother projects her unmet needs on him, and has the power to easily turn him against you. The both of them will keep you at bay from their relationship, and you will not become a priority.
3) He doesn't have the ability to communicate and listen to you in a healthy way, so this will make you feel disconnected and hurt. I don't think he will be a good parent, and he will make the child feel the same way as you do. He is quite toxic as well, and again everything will revolve around what his mother says or think.
I don't think is worth staying in a relationship where they think negatively of you, where you don't feel heard or understood and being with someone who's enmeshed with his mom.
