Narcissistic Abusive Relationship
so we had a fight the other night. i had simply asked him if he could turn around cuz things had been off the whole day, and he told me to shut up and leave him alone. it made me get upset for how he was talking to me, and so it also made him more annoyed with me. he then lashed out and threw my things, broke some of my things, verbally abused me, and kicked me out of the house at 2am and didn’t care what happened to me, even when i had nowhere to go. i had recorded him on my phone with how he was acting, and playing it back, i was talking calmly and he was calling me names and throwing my belongings around the room.... we had a talk the next day and he wanted me back. but he never owned up to his actions, he said it was my fault. he is a teacher and so i’m debating if i should send the video of him into the school cuz if i was a parent then i wouldn’t want my kid to be in a room with someone so unstable and easily triggered. he also threw his phone at me cuz he got mad at me for filming him, it missed me and dented the wall. and he blamed me for that too of course. i just feel like he tries to turn everything towards me and make me the blame, he gaslights me (which is what he was trying to do that night to try and get more of a reaction out of me, but it didn’t work) he is also older than me, and he calls me immature/selfish/manipulative ... sorry this is so long, i really just needed to vent as it still bothers me with how he didn’t care what happened to me at 2am or where i went
Hi @AlliXxoo
That's rough... how are you now?
i’ve been better, he hasn’t acted like that since then but i’m still walking on eggshells around him
@AlliXxoo
I'm glad to hear you've been better. Your wellbeing, self-esteem and safety matter ♡
thank you, i appreciate you reaching out with a kind message 😊
@AlliXxoo,
has this happened before? I don't know how the two of you behave to each other, but I would be careful labeling it like abusive, narcissistic, and gaslighting. I have been falsely labeled before, and I can tell you that it hurt, and it took me quite an effort to let go. It will hurt the person that is labeling too.
If this is indeed a pattern, then you should ask yourself if you want to hang around, and/or whether both of you want to invest in getting professional help. I would definitely not send any videos to the school he's teaching at, he might be a great teacher, you don't know. What would it bring YOU if you would?
Take care.
yes, in the past he has done a lot of things that put my safety at risk. i do the most for him, like help him with his work and other stuff that others would want to get paid for. i don’t ask for anything but some respect. i shouldn’t have to ask for that, especially not from a partner. considering what i do for him, and how little i get back. it’s like me helping him during my personal time and getting yelled at/sworn at just because it’s not good enough or something. it’s been like this for over a year now. everyone i know and have witnessed him treating me this way, has recognized him as an abusive person. i mean, he treats his family the same way too, so it’s no surprise he feels like it’s okay to do. as for gaslighting, he does that literally every day. he makes up inconsiderate stuff just to get a reaction out of me and to make me feel like i’m in the wrong somehow, during fights i’ve been taking a more chill/calm approach, and he always talks on and on and says a bunch of unnecessary stuff (how he can do better, how he doesn’t have to settle for less, he calls me manipulative, selfish, careless, calls me names/swears at me.) like it’s just hard because he always twists it around to make it seem like i’m in the wrong, he doesn’t have my back. he throws me under the bus if somehow things get heated between us, and then afterwards wants me back?
