Re-evaluating a rs.

@considerateTurtle5368 Hi Turtle! I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. It's a lot more common than you think to need some space emotionally when you are in a relationship. Sometimes, we may not be on the same wavelength emotionally as our partner and that's okay! Maybe you guys can talk about taking a break instead of completely breaking up. It could be good to maybe also talk to her about what you need from her and you could ask her what her boundaries are too. It's important to have a balance because a partner should be there for you, but not too much that they don't have boundaries either. It's important in every relationship to have boundaries! I know it's hard, but try not to isolate too much from your friends. Friends are important and can be a great support system when we are feeling down ❤️ Please take care of yourself! :)

@considerateTurtle5368,

have you considered getting professional help?

Or finding a group with people dealing with similar issues?

I know by experience how important it is in your situation to feel understood. And you simply cannot expect that from your partner to do all that.

I’m sharing my story, as I also struggle with depression and have had a similar instance.

“Our relationship began to fall apart in January. Our biggest downfall was he struggles to communicate and express his feelings, and I can be argumentative and defensive. I really don’t mean to, but I am a strong personality. I became incredibly depressed, and I took things out on him. He felt like he couldn’t come to me with how he felt, so our relationship started to spiral downwards. Additionally, he was also struggling with his mental health, with his job, with his family life, and his mom was diagnosed with cancer. It became very unhealthy, I was very insecure, and I was hurting him as a result.

We broke up for about two weeks, and it was very hard on me. I lost over 10 pounds, wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating, and was incredibly depressed and anxious. I began journaling about all the things I wanted to fix and ways I could be better, if I was given a second chance.”

Our relationship really suffered because of my mental health, and I pushed him away and away and away. I thought I was unhappy with him, but honestly it was my depression masking things. You need to ask yourself, is it the relationship or the depression that’s driving us apart? If I felt better, would I want to be with her? Can I make improvements? If you answer yes, then stay, and work on it.

ways to work on it:

• journaling
• therapy
• self talk (be nice to yourself! The last sentence you wrote stems from insecurity, I know the feeling. Write what makes you great. Believe in your own worth!)
• do things for you. When we rely on people for happiness, that’s where we run into BIG trouble. Play a sport you enjoy, write, read… whatever! When she has her time, you take you time.
• surround yourself with people who love and support you. Friends are great, but make sure they’re the right ones.

I hope this helps in some way. — 🌊

It sounds like professional help would be hugely beneficial here, solo or couples. The fact that you even want to pull away from your friends sounds indicative of a serious emotional burnout, talking with a therapist about this feeling of being overwhelmed from your personal relationships sounds like it would help. I realistically don’t believe that unless you and your girlfriend are hurting each other by being together it’s a good idea to breakup with her OR cut off your friends. It’s not the place of your friends to pressure you into breaking up with her either, it’s your relationship, not theirs.

Asking her to spend more time with you seems like a good logical first step in repairing things.

@considerateTurtle5368

I understand how challenging this must be for you. this is not advice, it is just a suggestion. You must focus on managing your emotions before getting into an emotional entanglement with anyone else. if you don't love yourself, how can you love someone? If you don't understand yourself, how can you understand anyone else?

If she feels the same way about you, she would understand as well. Again, this is a suggestion, not advice. Take some time off, and give yourself and your emotions the attention you need. It's really okay to take some time off for yourself.

@considerateTurtle5368

Hey Turtle.

Contrary to popular belief we can meet people that we genuinely love and want to be in a relationship with but our love language differs and are not in the same page with them regarding how we want to be loved or shown love.

Communicating such with your potential partner and also being open enough to hear and understand their side goes a really long way.

Taking a well deserved emotional break from any form of relationship helps with being to give fully when you are mentally ready.

One step at a time gets you there.

@considerateTurtle5368

Hi, I can understand this is a difficult and confusing situation for you to be in. But I'm glad you chose to speak about it and share it.

As this is a decision that will affect you and your partner the most, it is okay to take some time to decide on the next steps, despite the pressure that you are currently facing from friends. Effective communication in a relationship can be great for resolving issues, and for getting clarity about next steps, but I understand this is not always possible with a partner that is unwilling to communicate or does not feel the need to do so.

As you mentioned you feel drained right now mentally and physically, as others have mentioned here, it might be beneficial for you to talk to a professional to find a way out of this and also understand better what has caused you to feel this way, so that you can have prevention strategies to deal with this in the future.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you will be able to find some clarity and feel physically and mentally better soon.