Things I wish I could tell you..

To my ex husband . The things I wish I could tell you for the past 18 yrs. I wish you knew how much you destroyed my heart and how I see others. I gave you my all. I did everything for you for you to leave with my so called friend. Then if that wasn't enough to hurt me you slowly took my kids . You knew I was struggling , you knew I was hurt and you living your life so happy and with money you bribed my kids. First it was our oldest daughter then later our son. Yes you may have provided for them but you were not there for them emotionally. You made fun of me often in front on them because I was still hurting. Til this day I hurt because you we're suppose to be with me til the end . So many broken dreams . So many broken promises. Then I hear that you do everything. You threw me away for a girl that does nothing but sit on her butt all day. This makes me more angry. You have my kids , you broke my heart and til this day I'm still suffering from the hurt. The things I wish you knew..... That I always loved you and would never hurt you like you done me. Since 98 my life has gone straight down to the pits of hell. And yes , nobody to blame but myself but I can't help but to think ... Just maybe my life would be way different if you would of thought about us instead of your hormones. Forgive and forget they say but it's easier for the ones who cause the pain than the ones receiving it. So to my ex.... You won cause my life has never been the same since you left.

Dear friends (and family),

I feel like *** right now, but I can't say anything because you're all so consumed by happiness. I hate to be that person, the person who's going to take away that joy. I know you care and that's good. I know you want to listen and that's nice. Regardless, I know you really don't want to listen. I know that you'd rather I didn't complain in such great detail. But I'm a person of many words. I write and write because that's what gets me through the day when the sky is gloomy and cloudier than normal. I just feel like *** and I wish I could say that. I wish I didn't have to hide that fact! I wish I didn't have to pretend like I can be better in just a few hours. I wish! But I can't. I can't heal my wounds with time. It can be patched up by being ignored or being forced to close. It's so upsetting that I have to go looking for a stranger to talk to! (I love 7cot though, don't get me wrong.) It's just frustrating to fumble around having to search for someone to listen to me.

Dear Brother,

Do you remember me? I think you might have forgotten about me, so let me remind you of who I am: I'm the little girl you lived with for nine whole years of your life. I'm the little girl who has the same father as you. I'm the little girl who you used to call "sister."

And now I'm grown up. Maybe I'm younger physically, but mentally, I'm more mature. So what if you drink beer? So what if you smoke cigarettes? So what if you turned 25 last week? I'm still more of an adult than you'll ever be.

Do you know why that is? I think it's because I had to deal with all the repercussions of your irresponsible actions. Sure, it was you who picked the fights with Dad, but who was it who ran away crying ever time? It was you moved out with your girlfriend, but who was it who spent nights alone, missing your presence? And yes, it was you impregnated your girlfriend, and it was you who didn't know how much to feed the child, but who was it who was separated from their nephew when you lost custody? Who cried countless tears over the son you didn't want the day you gave him up? Who has spent nearly the past three years trying to be a good, constant influence in the little life you condemned to an adoptive home where "family" and "love" aren't much more than simple words?

I should hate you. I really should. But honestly, I miss you. I miss the idiot brother who was terrible at school and played basketball even though he couldn't shoot for his life and who joined band his senior year and played cymbals because he sucked at everything else. I miss the hotheaded brother who stood up to Dad and threatened (although they were empty threats) to hurt anyone who made fun of his autistic brother or nerdy sister. I miss the learning disabled brother who didn't know any better than to hurt me.

That's what you did. You hurt me. That pain doesn't go away overnight. But being away from you hurts just as badly. You haven't spoken a word to me in nearly two years! I'm not saying I could forgive you immediately, but I'm saying it would happen. I'm ready to have you back in my life when you're ready, too. And by ready, I mean changed. By ready, I mean you won't hurt me or Mom or Dad or our brother. I'm hoping you'll be that ready someday. And when that day comes, I'm hoping you'll come find me.

I love you.

—Your Sister

We were together for only four months, but those were the best four months of my life. You took away all of my pain. You made me feel wanted. Then you left me without reason. You said I was annoying and then started naming things that you hated about me. You will never know how many nights I cried myself to sleep, if I slept at all. You will never know how many scars I have because of you. You will never know....how much I really loved you. I gave my all, only to find out that everything was a lie. You never cared. You never wanted me there. I wish you were honest with me at the start so that I could have avoided the pain you have caused. I still care. I never hated anything about you. I never will. But I wish you could know, I still love you.

I wish I could tell my mother I have a drug problem.

Tell him he pushes me away not that I leave.

Dear Supervisor,

I wish I could tell you how sick I really am, that those bandages on my wrist was from an improperly inserted IV, the scar on my other wrist was from a surgery, I get sleepy, I went to treatment at the hospital 3 times a week last year and now got a bit better and only need to go twice a week. I could die at any moment. I know I look well, walking around work and doing my job, but you don't see my time consuming, physically painful, money draining, secret of mine.

Dear friends and family i wish i could tell n show you i cared you all so much thats why your problems is my worry too. I couldnt sleep for problem u facing and keep asking how to solve n makes u feel better.

But then theres a time when i need a backup, i need helps and companion, friends and accompany, where y'all?

Am i worth and special to be cared for :/

Nice posts everyone.

I wish that I was a better listener. Sometimes it is really hard to help people on here, but I'm trying to learn.

why did you not take me in your arms or just moved me . You guys new something was not right but you left me on his lap. For this I am hurt deeply I forever changed inside I was on my own you said I was 3 when I described the scenery and the weather conditions you said I could not have remembered because i was only three. Why did you trail off. What happens? Why did you not tell me I could tell you anything. I am hurt but I do forgive you guys you are human we make mistakes. I can not help the hurt I feel that I was so alone at that age.