Update on ex-friend
A few months ago, I posted in here about some ex-friends and the lack of response to my aunt's death. I did confront them about it and didn't get anything at first.
When going to check the mail today, I got found a card in the mail from one of those ex-friends, who my late aunt did a lot for. So I opened it and it was a sympathy card that came with a letter.
In the letter, she explained how she was sorry for treating me poorly and there was no excuse for it. Moreover, also talking about how she wants to help other people who are hurting. Beyond that, she acknowledged everything my aunt did for me and for her. Finally, she said that she still doesn't think it's healthy for us to be friends again but wants to make peace with me. She said it would be better for us to be cordial to each other and wished me all the best.
Any thoughts on this?
@Summershy I am glad you found her letter and read it.
I guess we can make a peace with them and move on with our respective lives? Probably we can acknowledge their letter?
What do you say?
@ASilentObserver
@ASilentObserver I did acknowledge it and at first I was angry and let gave her another two cents about how she is a real jerk. Then I had the rest of the day to think about it and realized that I don't care. As angry as I had been with her after our last meeting, I realize that it's been 4 years and my life hasn't stopped since then and it's not going to now either. I also have met lots of other people since she rejected me along with learning to accept that she is not a part of my life anymore. I can make peace with her without seeing her and just instead living a self-fulfilling life.
Bottom line, if she is too good to be my friend then she is not worth it.
@Summershy You should never be friends with someone who doesn't value your friendship, period. If she doesn't want to be your friend and doesn't treat you right then let her go. I will say though if you are grieveing be careful what you say or do without thinking it through. I lost my Mama and I felt like soo many people weren't there for me through that and also felt like some caused me to feel more pain like I hadn't been through enough. However when your going through that your emotions run high and sometimes its easier to lash out than to deal with things. I wish I wouldn't have lashed out like I did and thats the only reason I would say to keep your words short and keep your distance for awhile anyway. I said alot of things I regret and at the time it felt right but now looking back, it wasn't all fair. I am really sorry to hear your going through that. Best wishes!
@Carma7710 I did not appreciate the way she wrote that letter to me. This was by basically saying how Sorry she is and that my aunt died but still does not wat to be friends. In a way, thats its like she was leading me on. That is why I lost it. I came to realize there are a few reasons why this relationship is unhealthy.
1. She pushes my buttons , period
2. She is very arrogant right now and came to be that way after she met her husband. I feel sorry for the people who do have to see that.
@Carma7710 I also wanted to mention that I did apologize for lashing out along with sending her letter with a card because her birthday is in a few weeks. Just like she sent me a sympathy card, I felt it was okay for me to do so. I also wrote her a letter and put it into the card by telling her that:
1. I acknowledged that she dislikes me and I am not going to let it bother me because that's really her opinion and I can't live by what she really thinks about me and that it's her problem and not mine
2. I told her that just because she rejected me and that I am mad at her, I didn't stop living my life and that I have led an amazing life with lots of amazing people.
3. I also told her why it doesn't work for us to be friends in that she pushes my buttons, she has a negative attitude, and that she has always been green with envy towards me and enjoys trying to provoke me to envy whenever she gets someone that she wants.
4. I told her that I have made lots of other friends and that it's time for me to focus on them now.
5. That I can't change her and I am not going to try and nor am I going to sit and wait around for her because I don't have time for that.
