What does the future hold

We met on the track team back in high school. I didnt know it at the time but I had just met a person that would change my life forever. The timing was never right for us. I was always single but you were in a relationship. Then you became single and I was in a relationship. Once I was dumped I turned to you for support and the next day would change my life. It was all falling into place finally. We were together. We eventually were in love. We had plans for a future but then we broke up the first time because of my own doing. We got back together shortly afterwards and it went good but I guess all good things come to an end. 9 months after we got back together, I broke up with you. Once again as it seemed the timing wasnt right. I was not ready for a full commitment and I needed to find myself more. Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I have ever done. Knowing that this waa someone you wantes to spend your while life with but knowing that now was not the time or the place. I tried to get you back for no reason but my own ego and wanting to give you everything I promised. I acted as a child and didnt do well. You were my first true love and I couldnt let you go even though I knew I had too. I said some mean things, I wasnt letting you be happy. Now you're talking with a guy again like the first tome we broke up and it hurts so much. I hope he's good for you, I hope he's the one but I am here hurt from my decision. I dont know what the future holds, the timing was never right.