Why people don't initiate conversation with me
I don't know why people don't initiate conversation with me. It is like people already know me before I open up my mouth. I don't know what I do to cause everyone (this includes 100s of people) to not initiate conversation with me. I feel so alone. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. I just want someone to initiate and spend the effort to try to get to know me. My dad says a lot of good things about me but the rest of society doesn't seem to think so. Most people seem indifferent to me and are not welcoming of me. Most people have no reaction to me. I feel like their reaction to me is internal and they feel it on the inside and I come across a certain way without realizing it. One of the people on this website had said that I cam across as "untouchable" and that "I wouldn't be open to new opinions". I don't know how I come across that way without me knocking down people's suggestions. My dad said I can come across as serious and morose and that I look kind of intimidating. But I have doubts about it because I don't feel like that on the inside. I'm honestly lost in why people don't initiate conversation. It is really making me feel like I have no value.
@indigoCurrent5094
Do you initiate conversation with others?
@SilverbackTiger
yes
Try to think about the feedback you're getting from people. Your father has many positive things to say about you while also telling you that you may come across as "morose" - he obviously has your interests at heart, so it's not like he's saying that just to be overly critical - in other words, there very probably is some substance to his observation. You also said you are very lonely. A lot of the times we are communicating our loneliness with our energy unconsciously, and the subtle expressions of unhappy moods can be detected by others. Do you think people enjoy the company of joyous people, or do they enjoy the company of miserable people? I also see that you are expecting others to take the initiative to come and start the conversation with you - but why? Why is it the obligation of other people to provide you with conversation and to get to know you? I do not say this to criticize you; but rather to make you think about what kinds of mindsets, attitudes and behaviours draw people and conversation; and which ones are more repressive/deterring for conversation. A genuine human connection is never about alleviating your own loneliness - that is just an act of selfishness when we use others for their company. Human connection is a celebration of companionship. It revels in the joy of sharing yourself, your thoughts, your experiences with others in any moment - but it is about giving yourself and your time to another person, and not about wondering what they can give to you, or do for you.
Why am I so hated by everyone? Everything I say is wrong. Is there a mental disorder for that: where my feelings are always wrong?
@indigoCurrent5094
I can see that you are very distressed by this and I think that's the issue .... all of this upset and resentment is coming out in your communication with others. People can feel it. I think you need to take some time to work on you, make yourself happy, dont worry about others' perception of you for the time being. Make yourself happy and that will shine through when you speak to people. I feel for you x
@indigoCurrent5094
I feel this way too at work. I started thinking... is it bc they don't like me? Is it bc they think I'm some type of way? Eventually, I just don't give a sh*t anymore and just be like... f*ck it, I'll ask them how they're doing. I'll ask them about everything, I don't care anymore if they find me annoying.
People STILL don't initiate conversations with me, but I assume it's just bc they're shy. It's okay, though, I feel okay being the one who initiate conversations and never being initiated. I guess I just stopped caring.
I hope you don't think badly of yourself bc of this. I'm sure you're a fascinating and fun person to talk to 