i saw you at a party recently and wrote this while you were sitting across

if i had known 4 years ago that you would disappoint and break me this way, i would have never gone to that party. i would have stayed at home and just watched tv... not go to that stupid party where i saw your stupid cute face that i instantly fell for. it wasnt just your face, it was the fact that you were smart and had a lot more decency than the guys i had met. i was instantly attracted and with a lot of work i was able to get you and damn right i felt lucky. i felt lucky that i was able to get someone like you who actually loved me... and i loved back. our love was amazing, fireworks going off and the chemistry between us can be seen from miles away. i adored you although i didnt have the right words to express it. i was afraid to lose you and i know you knew that. i know you knew that it broke me into a million peaces when you wouldnt talk to me and leave me thinking that it was me who did something wrong, that it was me that had something wrong with her. i know you knew i waited on you, to talk, because i loved talking to you. i loved staying up and talking to you because i loved you, i loved you with absolutely everything i had but i never told you that.. i never told you anything. i just assumed you knew and i assumed how you felt too because i never in a million years thought you would call me to end things with me. never did i think id have to prepare for the last hug, kiss, talk, eye contact. never did i think id have to prepare to see you with someone else, the lips that once were on mine.. on hers