this has been hurting for a while but i’m not sure where to post yet
i've always struggled forming deep connections with others. i'm 21 years old & i can count on one hand the amount of people i've truly opened up to (and that was a boy i was "with" during a manic period after a traumatic event but that's details for later). i don't think i know how to form those connections, but it's not for lack of trying. my last therapist recommended that i open up to two adultier adults about my mental health & how i was feeling.
these two adults i considered parents, called them my foster/adoptive parents; had them on my emergency contact forms; the whole nine yards. they done a lot for me, especially financially, so i feel like i'm bad mouthing them but they really hurt me. it's been a few months, but my therapist told me to start with them. i talked to them about starting medication, my options, & how i usually get extremely suicidal the first month or so. my father left the room. my mom was upset that i was upset. just a mess of a conversation. after that i just kind of checked out. what else can you say in that moment you know?
the holidays are coming up. i usually spend those days with them rather than my own family but the thought of being in the same room with them & pretending that they didn't rip me open makes me sick. i tried talking to my bff (& their daughter) but she wasn't able to help me.
i didn't mean for this to be so long, this has just been hurting. after i started my meds, they never even asked me how i was.
@paintbrushgal
Sorry to say but it sounds like you need to be the adultier adult to them. Different people react differently to being told this. Especially if they are part of the generation where "you don't talk about your feelings".
I've found that I cannot rely on anyone except people who have also faced similar things or mental trauma.
In terms of connections, I had 0 friends for over a decade, despite me trying. I never gave up and even now, people assume I'm super popular and have loads of friends where as I only have two and only one I could rely on.
There are many ways to build connections, first I think is to figure out what you want from that connection and be honest and open with them on it.
@paintbrushgal
Sorry to say but it sounds like you need to be the adultier adult to them. Different people react differently to being told this. Especially if they are part of the generation where "you don't talk about your feelings".
I've found that I cannot rely on anyone except people who have also faced similar things or mental trauma.
In terms of connections, I had 0 friends for over a decade, despite me trying. I never gave up and even now, people assume I'm super popular and have loads of friends where as I only have two and only one I could rely on.
There are many ways to build connections, first I think is to figure out what you want from that connection and be honest and open with them on it.
