what do you think about therapist idea?

@noneinmind Hello! Well, your boyfriend was interested in seeing his ex. He told you that it was something he had to do, and you gave him permission. Your therapists said that men need to be jealous a bit? Like its part of their nature. We need to make men jealous so that they stay with the woman they are with, and to keep the relationship flowing? My thoughts on this are a little opposite of what she said ☺. I believe that if your significant other was fully into the relationship with you, they would cherish the little things about you to keep it flowing. I don't think anyone should HAVE to make someone jealous. If they become jealous on their own then that is something thats possibly out of your control, and more on theirs and what they decide to do with that jealousy. Now, I do understand that jealousy can be unpredictable and sometimes uncontrollable. It could make your guy/woman more dominant when they see that someone has taken a very "kind" interest in you. Some people find that attractive, others find it disturbing or rude. It all depends on the person.

I think your therapist's idea is just one 'tip' out of many, in terms of what one can do in a situation like yours. I don't necessarily think making someone jealous is ever the healthiest route to take. It builds an unstable foundation and will likely only cause more misery in the long term with trust issues. It depends entirely on what kind of person the S.O is and how they react. Maybe some people will see that and realise, 'Oh, I do that too, and if probably makes her feel as bad as I do right now, and therefore I shall stop.' Others may only engage in a competition of sorts, where they feel they need to step up making you jealous in return so that you stop the behaviour. In the end it's so dependant on so many factors, and saying ALL men (or anyone, really) need to feel jealous is a pretty harmful statement.

If you're a relationship and feel backed into a corner enough that purposefully hurting them and making them jealous feels like the only way to recieve attention and affection, it may be time to better review the partner and relationship as a whole. If you're with someone, you're with them for a reason, and it is definitely not be treated as less than, or ignored, or betrayed. You shouldn't have to fight - especially in a such a petty way as your therapist suggested - to have their attention, affection, and respect.