Is it possible my friendship is abusive even though I'm only 14/15?
I've known my best friend for 2 years and we've been besties for 1. And a few days ago I realised she's actually very toxic but now im thinking our friendship maybe is even abusive? Is that possible at this age?
I've been reading all these articles about abusive friendships but idk. A lot of the signs point to yes but I don't really trust my perspective on our friendship (which is a sign of gaslighting I know, but still)
So yeah I kind of need other people's opinions about it so if you know a lot about abusive friendships/relationships or have (sadly) experienced it, please help me figure this whole situation out. If you're willing to chat I can provide more detail.
@AvocadoToast444
Hi, I'm sorry that you've been going through that. 💜 You have a best friend who you've known for a couple years, but recently you've been noticing some red flags where they're actually doing some pretty hurtful or toxic things that you don't like. You've also been reading about abuse and wondering whether this situation falls into that category.
I don't see any reason why a friendship or relationship between teenagers couldn't also be abusive if it has certain qualities that make it abusive. For example, HERE is a resource that I found that discusses abusive dating relationships among teens.
I've personally experienced abuse and also done some things to other people that could probably be described as abusive. The line can be a bit gray sometimes as far as what is or isn't abusive, and it's also possible for good people to still engage in behaviors that are selfish or cause a lot of harm to someone else. I'd say that the bottom line is that whether the friendship is or isn't abusive, you aren't happy with what's happening and something possibly needs to change. Some of the same types of behaviors can be helpful for resolving both abusive and non-abusive friendships/relationships: agreeing on expectations, setting boundaries, and communicating assertively (i.e. sharing how you're feeling and what you do/don't want while still being as respectful/kind as possible).
If you'd like to chat with someone, HERE is a list of experienced listeners who accept 1-on-1 chats.
