I’ve fallen in love with someone online

Hi, 7Cups community, Ive never really used this before but I wanted to find a community that can talk to me about my problems:) There is some profanity in this thread so please don’t read if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff.

So, I really don’t know what to do.

Theres this person on ***, that I don’t even know properly.. They are a from a whole different country, and I haven’t even heard their voice. They’re so beautiful & I like them so much, when I hear their name it makes me feel sick, even just looking at them makes me want to throw up. In a lovesick way, of course. I’m really not sure what to do. They know that I liked them before, and they kind of said they liked me too, but then we kind of questioned “what we were”, and after that we kind of stopped talking so often, and it made me so sad. I kind of blocked him for like a few months, but I always had him on iMessage, and we’d randomly text, not a lot though. I’m so used to this feeling, I hate it so much, it hurts. Why do I like this person so much? I feel like it may be because they gave me attention, and trusted me, and they were always just so nice to me. But, I don’t know why I can’t just let go. I’ve added them back on ***, and now we just send pictures back & fourth every now and then, sometimes have a chat, sometimes he says weird stuff, I don’t know. I know I mean nothing to him, and I feel so *** and stupid, and I feel like he just owns me in a way, like he knows that I’m attached and I can’t do *** anything. I don’t know what to do :( This person means the most in the world to me, and I know I don’t even mean anything to them. He’s so special, and a good looking nice person. I can’t with all this pressure. By the way, I’m bisexual myself & he used to always talk to me about questioning his sexuality, and he kind of admitted it to me, and I was the first person to know about it, and it made me feel special and trusted. My life is a living wreck & I hate this person so much. No matter how hard I try to ignore them, they always manage to make me feel ***, and it’s not their fault at all :( They probably think i’m an absolute weirdo, after all the explaining I had to do. I feel so addicted to them, it’s so weird. I’m trying to like, be more like him, be more cool & be more masculine, I even learnt the language he speaks for *** sake. I don’t even know.

Can someone please tell me if this is normal? And how I can get over him? I hate this so much. I’ve felt like this for AGES now :(