Setting boundaries and giving people space
So, I have moments in my life where I honestly suck at giving people the space they need. Especially when I've grown to like them so much. I tend to just want to talk to them 24/7. It doesn't help that we're in a pandemic and it seems as if all of this has made me even more possessive/ not being able to stop talking to ppl. It has also lead to paranoia. It doesn't help that during some weeks I get more paranoid and emotional because of pmsing. All of this has negatively effected my relationship with someone I cared about deeply. So much so that they had to block me. I don't want to repeat this behavior again and I don't want to hurt anyone else close to me, how can I stop this cycle and learn how to control my emotions better? How can I also learn to let people have their space when they need it?
@Hb1000
I would Google or Bing the topic and see what looks right for the situation.
I would especially look on psychologytoday.com and healthline.com (the 2 best sites).
If necessary, I would refine the web search.
I would experiment with ideas I found that seemed best.
I would modify my strategy based on the results.
I would create new tiny/mini habits that are so simple they cannot fail.
Then after the tiny/mini habits take root and becomes real habits,
I would grow the habits to become a more encompassing solution.
A garden of good tiny/mini habits on the topic you mentioned.
@7motivation
thank you for your advice! I'll try doing this!
@Hb1000 are you dealing with trauma? you probably need a solid support system right now and more empathy and patience than usual. try to get some help, hopefully the people in your life are capable of understanding mental health issues. that doesn't mean they don't deserve space, but as you heal the fundamental issues, things should get back to normal.
@dworth257
I don't believe I'm dealing with trauma. I feel like I start jumping to conclusions about people and what they're doing so I freak myself out of the possibility that they may not like me as much as I think they do. I do believe I need to focus on finding love with myself rather than with someone else rn. Maybe I do need to seek professional help to aid my navigation of this, but as of now I don't really have the money to be able to do that especially if I need to do it often. Thank you for your advice!
@Hb1000
I agree, this sounds like an attachment situation, in which case a therapist would be a huge help. There are community clinics and "sliding scale" providers that you could look into in your area. It's actually good right now that everyone is offering telehealth because you might be able to attend sessions you wouldn't have been able to before because of transportation or distance.
I would also google universities in your state and see if they have a community counseling clinic becaue there are often students in their last year of studies that work in those clinics for free or very low cost per session.
Best of luck!
@nordurnStar
thank you so much! I'll check this out.