Unsure what to do.

@levihan Hi levihan, Hello, welcome to relationship and friendship Support Community! I am glad that you have reached out to here. And that's really good that you could vent out in here

First of all, I am sorry to hear about the break up and it is really very disappointing when we are unsure about the reason At this point, all of your feelings are truly so valid and also it explains how precious he has been to you. ❤ you have mentioned, you want to sort the things out with him, so have you decided yet how will you do that?

@levihan

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

He said he felt like he didn't make me happy, he was tired of acting as if he was happy within the relationship and he said he felt like he couldn't talk to me because of the amount of crap I had been going through recently, (I can see why he would say all of this even though it wasn't the nicest way to say it. From what I hear he seems like whats going on is a situation he can't handle. He put a lot of pressure on himself to try on making you happy (which he shouldn't have), so now he felt discouraged about his efforts) and it all felt like I was being stabbed in the back, it hurt so much. Everything seemed fine. (I can tell he kept things inside for a long time due to certain fears and having the mindset of "I need to push down how i feel for her") About a week and a half earlier, we went on a date and we were both happy, I ended up falling asleep in the car while he held me from falling over and he even tried to kiss me before we departed (failed many times because I'm scared HAhfajghaw). Anyways, I was a mess and the only words that managed to escape my mouth were, "why wouldn't you talk to me, why wouldn't you text me first?" (I can see why you would say this. Im getting the impression you probably felt ignored and disconnected. I can also tell there was some defensiveness on your part because what he said triggered past feelings, so what will happen next is that you both will feel disconnected and unsafe.) - didn't end up getting a proper answer to that. (Im getting the impression he probably shut down after that, felt anger and fear about saying more things) Two days later, he came up to me and broke it off with me. (This must had been hurtful to go through, it does seem like he wanted to make this decision for awhile) This time he seemed more nice about it. He said, "I hope you find someone better than me, but I hope we can still be friends" and even asked me "if it was okay if we broke up," he kept asking if I was okay then asked for one last hug, and so we did. So, I basically didn't get a proper answer to why we broke up, he "felt a certain way for a while now" (Its normal to feel confused and hurt about this. Based on what you shared, theres a chance some situations within the relationship was something that slowly started to affect him which is probably related to certain issues. I get the impression he tried to expressed this, but not in a kind way which triggered your anxiety) (that feeling wasn't specified) which kinda made me believe he led me on for a bit... (He probably was scared of expressing how he felt about the situation) Again, I was crying and I was a mess. Fast forward>> It's the 12th of Oct and it's his birthday. I messaged him saying, "happy birthday, hope you had a great one," and he replied with "Aw well thanks". That was the only time we talked since the breakup and now. Now we're back at school, we haven't talked but hang out in the same area. I really want to talk to him and sort things out maybe...(Its understandable to have the need to sort thing out because you love him, but he needs to be ready for this. The only way it will show he is ready is if he starts reaching out first and making an effort to rebuilt things with you. I do think it would make things worst if you try to talk things out when he isn't ready) His best friend (who is also a good friend of mine) said that my ex still has feelings for me, and so do I. (Love and attachment is not something that will go away completly, but its important to not reveal information about how you feel or ask how he feels to his best friends because your ex will know about it) I loved him so much, we did so many things together in the nearly 10 months we'd been together. I tried so many new things with him, his mother and sister were lovely and I felt really accepted. (This makes the breakup even tougher because it will feel like losing two more important people in your life) I felt really close to him, I learnt so many things about him, became friends with his friends and vise-versa. He was the one person who was always there for me, regardless of me feeling lonely because I don't have many friends. To me, he wasn't just a boyfriend but someone who I could trust wholeheartedly and be myself (being a "crazy dork" that I am, apparently). I honestly feel like I'll never like anyone as much as I loved him. (Its normal to feel this way, you love him and he is an important part of your life) His other friend told me that he's been acting weird since school started and he said he feels like my ex is acting like he's okay but he's not. (I feel that both people suffer throughout a breakup, not just one. Its just the the dumpee feels the most hurt because things came out of no where. Its important to not receive information about him from his friends because it might hurt you) I was thinking about asking his friends whether or not he'd be comfortable talking to me, or if not I was thinking of sending a message and telling him how I feel, (Its normal to have this desire to work things out with him because you love, but this will push you away even further. I feel like he started to feel smothered through the last phase of the relationship, so doing this will push him away. Remember, he ended things, so he should be the one attempting to work things out with you, not the other way around) because I don't want to make him uncomfortable when we hang in the same area, (it might make things uncomfortable after what happened, but he needs to be the one to approach you and be willing to work thing out with you) and I'm scared a few of his friends, in particular, think I'm a total b*tch. Lots of our friends would always compliment us saying we're a really cute couple, and for sure, I agree. I still have a teddy he bought me for Christmas last year and a few photos that were taken of us when we cosplayed, and I don't wanna let those go TT__TT I've received lots of advice from a variety of people, they all vary and I'm not sure what to think!! I'm so scared to talk to him..(Its okay to feel this way, getting all various of advices can confuse you. Its important to never beg, chase, approach or even try to convince the other person about not ending things. The decision he made cause a lot of hurt, but its important to let him have his own space to think things through and to see how life would be without you. He won't see your value and what you bring to the table if you keep wanting to work things out with him, messaging him, asking his friends about him or receiving information about him from his friends. He ended things with you, so he should be the one wanting to work things out with you) I'm sorry if this is really long but he does mean the world to me. (It wasn't a long post at all, its normal you feel hurt and sad about the breakup. Take your time to heal, and become aware of anxiety and certain issue that lead to the breakup)