What should I do about a relationship I previously said no to but now regret?
When I started working at my first job I met a coworker who I eventually grew to have feelings for. She’s sweet and smart and we were always on the same wave. Thinking the same thing and feeling the same thing. She was probably the most perfect person I have ever met. We went out on what I called dates to others but to her I called it hanging out to keep my feelings low in case she didn’t feel the same way. Eventually I opened up to her and told her I liked her and she felt the same. We didn’t make it official and she crashed her car so we didn’t really talk about it for a while. Then she told me she was polyamorous which I am not. I thought I wouldn’t mind it but then she told me she was starting to like a guy. I told her I wasn’t interested in dating guys and I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to share her with someone else. We talked it out and I told her I didn’t think we would work. At the time I didn’t know it but I said no because I was scared of her leaving me for someone else. I feel like I regret my decision but I don’t think I can tell her because she is now dating the guy she liked. I keep having dreams about her and it’s driving me insane how much I miss her. What should I do? Should I forget her and move on? Should I tell her how I’ve been feeling? Idk what to do and I’m really stressed and I really really miss her.
Sorry for the very long writing I just want to give as much context as possible.
@Brixr
tell her ... the biggest regrets we have are things we did not do ........ relationships and a feeling of everything just clicks is hard to come by .... maybe she will say sorry she has moved on but you will have released those thoughts and not have nagging what ifs
That is what I was thinking about doing but I also felt it would be wrong because I feel like I would confuse her. From being so sure that I didn’t want to try, to thinking I was wrong and regretting my decision. But I was just as confused on what I wanted… but I think I’ll tell her and hopefully I won’t do more damage.
@Brixr Are you suddenly cool with polygamy? If not, spare yourselves the heartache, I’ve only seen it work out for a very select few, and that was only short term (worst one ended with a jealous girl hitting the other with a vehicle on purpose). This is just my honest opinion based upon the information given; Nothing more or less. I’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.
I’m conflicted with myself. On one hand I know our relationship probably won’t be the best and I’ve seen a few poly relationships turn bad. But on the other hand I feel like I should just try it. I feel like we could have compromised where I would only be dating her and she would be dating me and whoever. But I understand what you are saying and I’ve told myself the same thing. It’s just really hard when you feel like you’ve met the perfect person but have to let them go. And I don’t really have a support system with me so it’s really difficult to move on.
