The wish to go back to god...
I understand the souls yearning to go back to its Creator...
But we have to fulfil our purpose in this life first...
I remember my aunt nearing the end of her life losing interest in life... becoming more recluse.... she had an intuition her time to go back had come ...
In fact, a lot of people feel like that during the course of their life...
When I was depressed I remember a phase of wishing / praying to god to call me back as the pain was becoming unbearable. Thats not the same as trying to harm yourself. Its just ... when you dont want to be courageous anymore and wish that your time had come.
But of course intuitively I knew that my time hadn't come... I felt in my soul the deep urge to do more.... to be more courageous, more loving, more honest.... I couldn't leave without leaving my purpose incomplete.....
Currently well... I do feel strongly to go back to god ... but not in the sense that ive accepted some kind of defeat over my circumstances..... im packed with gratitude and hope and a vision to evolve and deliver till my soul truly finds its peace and perhaps then it can go back to the one who made it ..... its such a beautiful feeling to have that destination in mind while I live and enjoy my existence with responsibility...
Thanks for listening 💛
Anyone is welcome to opine, reflect, engage.
@Creamyyy
I have my eye on the next world and being with God being my final destination.
My heart longs for it.
But I want to leave an imprint of kindness on this earth end get the best out of this life so I can stand before God with grace and confidence knowing I tried my best 💕💜
Thats beautiful... I envision your success 💛✨️
@Amanda84
Hello🤗
Well I really struggle with my faith and with my mental health and I many times pleased God to take me home, bc im too scared.. and I really don't know what to do or how to fix it... I got a miracles that helped me starting believe in God and I also got really gifted by Him... but now I just don't feel like talking to Him, bc im so mad and it's just so hard.... I hardly pray or read my bible.... bc it's so painful... every time I read my bible, I just see all the "bad" people and all the warning and I feel so guilty that IM the BAD people and I don't know how to change it... i tried to repent many times but it didn't help... 🙈
I also talked about it many times with my Pastor (he's for me more than that well) but he also really doesn't know... Last time he just said me that HE needs to pray more for me... 🥺🙈
So if you have anything that helped you with that and what could you recommend, I would be grateful🥺🤗
Hey im happy you shared your innermost feelings about this sensitive topic. I feel you. Faith struggles are normal even if everyone doesn't speak about it. We may believe in god and feel loved and protected and blessed but there are moments we feel betrayed. I think its about looking closely at those moments to exercise patience because we find more answers always in the time to come. Sometimes our mind exaggerates and makes us feel worse than what god intends for us. I just see god as someone with infinite might and mercy. I cant doubt gods love. If I'm in pain, it will teach me something. It will make me grow to become the person god wants me to become. Life is about refining the spirit to its maximum - it isnt about gaining all the worldly blessings. Loss is inevitable. Because without loss, we cant find the grace of letting go and surrendering to the will of god. Make a firm resolve to work on your demons, and be gentle to yourself as you improvise. Track your progress. Do not be hard on yourself. Do not give up on serving god - that is the ultimate purpose. You are gifted and you are special. We are all equal as children of god. God loves us all even if our paths are so diverse and unique. When I read the Quran about ten years back, I felt the same as you at times, that Im one of the bad ones the book is talking about, but with constant efforts to make myself better, doing good things, and most importantly trusting the Almightys forgiveness and love changed my equation with god.
We all have stumbling blocks. I wont be surprised if tomorrow im in tears again and looking at god with sad eyes - this is the normal human journey. Youre not alone. We must keep going. Together and with love serving the same Source.
@Parllie
Yes, exatly that I can't doubt God's love bc once i felt it, nothing can take it away... but even when I try to see something bigger behind all the pain, I don't understand... and yes, I know I can't understand everything and that He knows why... it's just so hard to believe that from all the PAIN and trauma should come something good...
And also I many times pleased Him for healing... from my physical pain which tortures me for like 3 and half years... bc I know the mental healing take time... but I still pleased :) and it's like... for what is good my pain? When I can't do absolutely anything with it and I need to take many pills just to survive...🙈
Oh im so sorry for what youre going through. Physical pain can be unbearable. Sending you prayers for recovery and healing. 💛✨️
For me, all the pain Ive experienced has led me to empathise with pain of others and become a more loving person. I think god wanted that from me. My body suffered but my soul strengthened and then my body begin to heal too. All with love of god.
It can happen for you. Keep soldiering on. Pain doesn't have to be permanent and even in its presence one can achieve a lot of meaningful things in their lives.
@Parllie