How useful is the word "troll" on 7 Cups?

I want to start by saying that I love this place, and one thing I especially love is how safe this community feels. And a big reason for that feeling of safety is that we have an amazing team here, working to make sure that appropriate action is taken if people are being hurtful or disruptive in the community, in the way @Laura describes in this thread. This often requires some difficult work and I'm in total admiration of everyone here that helps keep the community feeling safe and respectful and supportive, it's awesome.

One thing I've been thinking about recently is how we use the word "troll". I know it is very commonly used to describe someone that is being deliberately disruptive online. I don't think it's a great word to use to describe people here on 7 Cups, and I'm interested to hear what everyone else thinks.

Let me also be clear that I am not saying please stop using it! I am not in favour of censoring it, or anything like that. I just think the words we choose are important in how we express ourselves, and if we can find better ways to do that as a community, why not talk about it?

Here's why I'm not a fan of the word "troll":

1. The word "troll" means different things to different people.

Many people would agree that someone coming into a chat room and straight away verbally abusing other people and posting links to obscene images etc, could be defined as a troll.

But many listeners also use the word "troll" to describe a member who seems to not be telling the truth in a 1-On-1. And as experienced listeners here know, members and guests might have a number of reasons for not telling the truth. Maybe what they are saying feels true to them. Maybe they are shaken up and not getting details right. Maybe it is the truth, but it just sounds unlikely to us. Maybe their story is somewhere between imagination and reality because they're not totally comfortable about opening up and they want to check they can really trust their listener to be open minded and non judgmental.

Many listeners also use the word troll to describe someone that is being disruptive or getting angry in a 1-On-1 chat. And maybe they are being disruptive, but maybe it is because they are in a dark place and don't know how to best reach out for support.

How comfortable are we with the use of the word "troll" in those situations? And if we talk about removing trolls on 7 Cups, do we risk giving new listeners the idea that they should block and report or ban if they believe members or guests are not telling the truth, or are getting angry in a chat?

2. The word "troll" is dehumanising.

If someone is disrupting the atmosphere, abusing or harassing people here on 7 Cups, it might be that its not a good fit for them to have an account here, and the community managers may have to intervene. Thats whats right and necessary to help protect the community, and also to help guide the person thats being disruptive too. The way I see it, thats not a reason to label that person with a name that makes them sound less than human.

One of the community guidelines here is that were respectful to all users of the site at all times, whether thats towards them, or when talking about them. I think thats such an important guideline. People here dont have to earn our respect - we respect them automatically as human beings, as a part of our community, regardless of how they're behaving. Maybe the word troll is widespread among online communities, but 7 Cups is not just any online community. I feel as though we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard. All our experience on the site shows us every day that people around us can be really struggling with something in their life, that people dont know about. And being abusive or hurtful is many peoples way of trying to regain some control when they are struggling. Their behaviour doesnt fit our community guidelines at all, but it doesnt make them any less human, either. We can condemn the behaviour and still respect the person. Because being respected is not a privilege here, its a given.

3. There are plenty of much better alternatives.

The words we choose are important. You can say its just semantics - thats not what you mean, when you say ‘troll. Well, semantics carry a lot of weight, and people read into the words we choose, no matter how we intend them.

So why not be clearer about what we mean? If I need to let a group mod know theres a troll in the Community Room do I mean abusive language in the Community Room? disrupting the Community Room? harassing a guest in the Community Room? That also helps the group mod understand what to look for. in the thread I mentioned earlier, I really like how Laura chooses her wording to describe behaviour that would need to be reported: acting in a way that is publicly disruptive and hurtful and disruptive and ugly behavior - that makes sense to me, as a way to talk about this. Describe the behaviour, dont label the person.

We're all just people here. Even people who come here and behave really unpleasantly and maliciously - theyre just people. We all have our lives, we all have people we care for and things were sad about and difficulties and passions just like everyone. We have all had moments when our behaviour has been disruptive, or cruel. Its not good, but its part of being human. Being human is what 7 Cups is all about, and thats something I love about this community too.

(Thanks so much @MizMickey and @MissZ for their awesome help and insight with this post!)