nothing
guess i'll tell you guys about me and my life
but theres not much to tell, and its kind of
sad and borning ....
im 26 yr old black woman, i have live with my mom all my life
on account of my learning / mental disabiltys. i have been in
spical ed classes since middle school, and once i had started
high school it was called Occ. prep. i have graduated in 2007
i have not worked since then and im wandering if i can get
finantcel help.
i have a drivers licencs but no car, my moms bf has a car but its stick shift so
if we have to go anywhere he has to take us. ...we need a car bad...
as i said i live with my mom all my life... i keep the house clean and she cooks...
she was married but devorced my father. now me and mom live with her boyfriend
who i hate very very much. they both drink, and are heavey achocalices. moms BF
is a very mean drunk and will belittle her and verblly abuses her, then the next day
well pretend like it never happend. this cycal goes on at least once a week on
a good week and 3 times or more on a bad one...i think thats part why
i hate him so much, how can i care for some one who treach my mom like shit and
the pretends he never did it, and thens try to buy his way back into your
favor? he also likes to pretend he's black ( i.e... he know more about blacks then
we do thus this makes he black by default. ) he will never know what its like for
us.
i have no kids, and i have never been married. i and single.
i have had little too no romancit life. i have had sex but only a few times in my life
so im not very good at it. i can't remember the last time i had a boyfriend. i am
bi / pan ( bisexual and pansexual ). i have never dated or been with a woman.
i did fall in love with a close friend but he didn't feel the same way and the heart
brake has made me afraid to put myself out there and date. so i dont date. i
feel my learning disabilty has a lot to do with me not dating. i feel i have nothing
to bring to the other person....
i am a Latter Day Saint ( mormon )
im inactive ( i don't go to the church but im still a member. )
i have horribal cavatys and chip and broken teeth. i dont smile showing my teeth
for that reason, there painful and very ugly to look at so i don't show my teeth
to any one. i smile without showing them. of course i have no money to fix them
or even to get them pulled to stop the pain.
i have a lot of self haterid and i have in the pass been a self harmer ( cuts arms and legs )
i stopped selfharming but the sadness depression, and lonelyness hasn't gone.
nothing ever really changes in my life, and im to stupid to know how to change it.
i have ask my mom to help me get started on ganing a disability check, but im
unsure how far this will go. i feel so lost and alone, very, very lonely....
i have no job
no money
no friends
no love life
no talents or skills
no home
no car
i have no life
this is my story
that i have no story...
thank you for reading what ever the hell this is....
Hello there,
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you are going through a very dark and difficult time.
I wet through a similar thing, no love life, no friends. But I was told that if i wanted anything to change, to gain something, then I would have to get out there and take it! I know it sounds cliche but it is true. I have now applied to go to college and re-do my GCSE and will hopefully meet some people. I'm also on online dating and had a very nice date a few weeks ago.
It does get better. I know its hard at first, but just look around and see if there is any groups/clubs about.
All the best to you.
You have a talent for writing, I think.
A real way of expressing yourself in the clearest, most endearing way.
I enjoyed reading about you, and I hope you'll post again. take care, and thanks for sharing. X
I agree! I think u are a good writer also! Im sorry you are going through this. Please keep posting
@thisisspbok
You are so honest, lovely and brave.
Thank you for sharing the very surface layers of your life. Your experiences and your current obstacles.
It seems as though - even with so much working against you at times, you still strive for the sun above your head - and that's poetic.
Living with disabilities can be difficult to overcome - maybe there is someone nearby that can aid you in getting through school, finding work - and all that. You know? Once you have a decent job, there are car auctions that sell cars for less expensive prices, might worth looking into? If you're able, try to research all the resources your city and state have to offer. !!
I'm 23 and still live with my family. There is nothing wrong with staying with your family ... if you have the support system, there shouldn't much pressure to leave. Not having the time to create your foundation before you head out into the world solo can detrimentally impact your chances of success.
Your mom's boyfriend seems lame. He can be as "educated" all he wants ... your firsthand experience will surpass his "knowledge" anytime.
Genuinely, I hope you're able to find love! While sex is important in a relationship - it's not everything. And there are men and women who remain abstinent until marriage - they stay virgins until they meet their husband/wife -- so I wouldn't worry much about having little experience. Also, a great partner will teach you... and honestly, every time you have a new partner, you have to learn each other's bodies regardless of how much experience you have.
No matter what you've faced, your future still lies ahead and you are worth creating the future you are seeking. Much love! If you'd ever like to speak 1on1, I'm a Listener here at 7 Cups. Click onto my profile and there will be a "Send Message" button of some kind there ... that's how you may initiate a conversation with me if you ever feel like it (:
Take care, be well! Stay strong, sis.
- Jaali