Building Self-esteem Series: The Fear of Failure
Hi there,
I hope you have enjoyed Hope’s Building Self-esteem Series as much as I have! Today, I wanted to open up a discussion about something we all face at some point in our lives: the fear of failure. It doesn’t matter who we are, what job we do, or how well we feel we have worked on our personal growth. It's a universal experience that can hold us back from reaching our full potential, both personally and professionally. However, I believe that by sharing our experiences and incorporating therapeutic techniques, we can overcome this fear and pave the way for personal growth.
Understanding the Fear of Failure
Firstly, let's acknowledge that the fear of failure is completely normal. It's a part of the human experience, and almost everyone has felt it at some point. Whether it's starting a new project, taking on a challenging task, or pursuing a dream, that little voice of doubt can creep in and make us question our abilities. We may even struggle with an internal critic that constantly holds us back with our negative internal dialogue and if you want some tips on how to quieten this voice please read here.
Developing a Growth Mindset:
One powerful therapeutic technique to combat the fear of failure is cultivating a growth mindset. The growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Instead of seeing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, individuals with a growth mindset view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of avoiding challenges or not attending to them all together, the growth mindset teaches you to work through those challenges, to go with the river, and to see what you can learn on your journey!
Practical Steps for Developing a Growth Mindset:
Embrace Challenges: Rather than avoiding difficult tasks, actively seek out challenges. This can help reframe your perspective and view challenges as stepping stones to improvement.
Learn from Criticism: Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth. Instead of taking it personally which can sometimes happen, use it as feedback for improvement. Remember, even the most successful people faced setbacks and criticism on their journey. You are not alone and gradually it gets easy when you are able to invite constructive criticism. It takes practice and self-compassion to be able to learn from constructive criticism.
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success: Shift the focus from end results to the effort you put in. Acknowledge your hard work and dedication, regardless of the outcome. This helps build resilience and perseverance and is one of the key ways to overcome the fear of failure.
View Setbacks as Learning Opportunities: When things don't go as planned, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Failure is not the end but rather a chance to refine your approach and try again with newfound knowledge.
Sharing Your Experiences:
I'd love to hear from you all. Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset? Sharing our stories can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles.
Remember, we're all in this together, and every setback is a chance to grow stronger. Let's create a supportive space to discuss, learn, and conquer the fear of failure as a community!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences that you feel comfortable sharing.
Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Fear of failure was something I suffered for many years. I was so scared of low scores in my exams I wouldn't study till the very last minute. At first, I thought it was the energy boost, the anxiety filled motivation right before an exam but actually, no. It was the fact that i didn't try simply because i was scared of failing. The last-minute studying worked wonders till i had to face a national exam. I didn't have enough time to study because i was too busy being scared of the potential failure and did pretty bad in the exam. It wasn't terrible, passed all my subjects but the day i got results i realized how severely my fear affected me. I'm not stupid I'm a smart, capable person who can work hard, yet i was so terrified of failure to the point i didn't reach my potential. What hurt were my father's words, "You did your best, I'm proud of you," when in fact i hadn't even tried. This event really opened my eyes. That day i knew i had to get over this irrational fear of failure and prove to everyone including myself how truly capable i was. i told myself "i'd rather try and fail than not try at all. I'd rather fail a hundred times and succeed, than never fail to succeed," And worked my best for the international exam supposed to be attended a year after that, sure i got horrible marks at times in practice papers but for the final exam i did really well. Although i regretted that national exam for the longest time, it became my biggest strength, It became the reason i freed myself from a fear that was belittling my self-worth and potential. So, to everyone reading this, trying and failing and someday leading to success, is much better than not trying and failing.
My fear of failure is something I've been trying to tackle head on the past few weeks, as I'm really trying to become my best self. I feel like I lived in fear of everything the past few years. I was in an unhealthy relationship and felt I couldn't voice anything due to my fear of rejection and fear of intimacy. I've learned the last few weeks that failure and criticism is just an opportunity to learn and do better in the future and I should not have any reason to fear that. I applied to multiple jobs (haven't gotten any interviews yet unfortunately) but I want to keep busy and in this economy I really shouldn't just be working 1 job anyway lol. But I'm motivated and excited to see where my future takes me and I'm not afraid to put myself in hard situations anymore. And I'm excited to keep taking small steps and keep working on this!
I have faced the fear of failure regarding my career and self growth. I feared that I wouldnt accomplish my highest potential. I manage these fears through distraction via gaming and social media. I feel these are not helping me grow and are habits that I need to address. I feel like a loser at times.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
I have experienced the fear of failure in my life but I was able to battle this some years ago when I went for a competition. Me and my group were from the least ranked schools. I alone was representing my school on one of the challenges. When I came into the hall first day, all the people I saw were from top 10 schools and here I was sitting with my white T-shirt thinking "I really don't have a chance here." I really wanted to quit and do something else but when I got home My Mom and Dad helped me to eliminate this thinking totally and instead continue practicing and studying and believing that they didn't have two heads. Fast forward to the results day, when I opened the file, I wanted to start checking from the least scorer but I remembered my mom and started from the top of the list. I won the Bronze Medal for my State and my school. I was the third best performer. When I saw that, I couldn't stop laughing. From that day, no matter what challenge came, I always believed there's a tiny path that I can follow to overcome and perform wonderfully.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Sharing Your Experiences:
I'd love to hear from you all. Have you faced the fear of failure? How did you manage it, and did you try any therapeutic techniques like developing a growth mindset? Sharing our stories can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles.
I certainly have faced my fair share of fear of failure moments in my life.
Some of the ways I managed it included:
- Being self-aware, mindful, understanding that experiencing fear of failure does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. Just like the quote says "don't be afraid to fail; be afraid of never trying. Failure is the stepping stone to success".
- Using the experience, thoughts, feelings to motivate and seek growth from it. Just like the quote says "Don't fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today."
- Creating a support system that I can rely on when I am faced the fear of failure.
- Understanding that feeling fear of failure is one of the things that show you that you need to learn to engage the practice of self-care more.
I agree completely that sharing our stories in general can be both cathartic and inspirational for others going through similar struggles. More specifically sharing our story when done right and in the right ways is far more healthier than keeping it in. Just like the quote says "when we bottle up our emotions, they don't just disappear. Instead, they manifest into symptoms, suffering and complexes.
@LisaMeighanMScGMBPsS
Thankyou for this beautiful post!🥰
I remember, when I got an unexpected outcome from my school examinations. I had given my best but certain uncontrollable factors did not lead me to the institution I had dreamt to get admitted to for years! I literally had broken down! But then, I believe, it's just a matter of faith and belief that everything is meant to bring out a better and greater version of ourselves! And so, when I changed my perspective, told myself that everything happens for the right reason because it's not the reality but only our current perception of reality, things changed!
Even now, I am in a situation where I have feeling repeatedly low and scary about how I will be able to make it, time is so less and there's so much to do! But, you know, we just need to trust ourselves more than anybody else's opinions. Start manifesting good things in your life and as you will find more evidence of getting over the fear of failure, the more confident you will become. The idea of embracing changes is one of the very great lessons from this post! Failure becomes more difficult when we associate it with external dynamics! More when we know that we did not give our best, but you know it's okay! It's completely okay to fail because it's in the most painful and darkest moments when we learn the most amazing lessons!
The only thing we need to develop is the courage to rise back up again and again and again!