Does this situation still bother me because of self -esteem issues
Hi everyone,
I’ve been working through some lingering feelings about something that happened in my relationship over a year ago, and I’m trying to understand why it still bothers me.
To give some context, my girlfriend cried when someone she used to be friends with benefits with went into a dangerous situation (the military). She explained that it wasn’t about him specifically, but the danger of the situation itself, and she’s reassured me many times that her feelings are for me and not him. She’s consistently chosen me and shown me love and commitment, but for some reason, I still can’t fully shake this.
I’ve started to wonder if my struggle is more about my own self-esteem than anything she did. The situation made me feel like I wasn’t enough for her, even though she’s told me repeatedly that I am. I’m trying to figure out if these lingering feelings are tied to my self-worth and if that’s why it’s hard for me to let go.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? If so, how did you work through it? How can I better identify if this is a self-esteem issue and take steps to resolve it?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and advice!
@tybruh, I’ve had experience with low self-esteem and all I can say is that I’m sorry you’re in that situation, and I understand why you’re confused: you’re not sure if she only has feelings for you, because she’s really sad over someone she used to be friends with benefits with.
What do you think is most probably what’s going on?
Well I hope that her explanation that it’s not person specific and it’s more about the situation is true. I believe this is true because she has cried over other friends going to the army as well. For some reason I just can’t get it out of my head that she cried because she still wants him even though she has constantly reassured me otherwise.
@tybruh I understand it’s confusing and I'm here to listen without judgment. From what you've shared, it seems you believe your insecurity is causing you to doubt trusting her. What do you think might happen if you chose to trust your instincts in this situation?
Im scared that my brain is right that she had lingering feelings for him even though she has said otherwise. I guess it’s my brain trying to protect me in a way?
@tybruh, I understand your worry, and it does sound like your mind is just trying to protect you. I also worry sometimes about negative things happening, and I know it’s just my mind trying to protect me.
Tips to get over this situation and trust her more?
