How can you help your self esteem when you have no positives to build on?
How can you even entertain the thought of building your self esteem when you can't do anything right? I've always struggled with everything. every little thing. I've always struggled in school, I dropped out of college 4 times because I wasn't smart enough to finish. I've failed every test I've ever taken. I am just genuinely stupid.
It takes me forever to learn a new concept. Even when it seems like I'm starting to understand, I still have missing pieces of information that I just can't remember or I can't find in my notes. I've always been behind in everything. I've always been micromanaged and corrected because I make so many mistakes. I'm unreliable and a burden and nothing more really.
They say to find something you're good at or something you like about yourself, but even with trying to soul search and taking my self hatred out of the equation, I still can't find anything. I truly can't think of a time where someone relied on me and wasn't disappointed in the end or something I've done correctly. I have no positives to build on and I'm too stupid to learn anything new.
@thoughtfulSailboat9153
I’m really sorry you’ve been carrying this much self-doubt for so long. Reading your post, it sounds like you’ve been fighting a really hard battle with feeling like you’re never enough.
I know it might not feel true right now, but I don’t see someone who is “stupid” or “a burden.” I see someone who has struggled, kept trying, and is still reaching out even after so many painful experiences.
I wonder if you’re measuring yourself only by the things that went wrong and not giving yourself any credit for the effort it took to keep going. Sometimes the first positive thing we find about ourselves isn’t a talent or achievement; it’s something smaller, like persistence, caring, or the fact that we’re still here trying.
Thank you for being honest about how you feel. I hope you can be a little kinder to yourself, even if you don’t believe the positive things yet. 💛
You're not alone. I'm 52 and still feel this way. I can't seem to get anything right in career or personal life. I know I should take my own advice but, celebrate the little wins in your life. Passed a test you struggled with that everyone said was super easy? Celebrate YOUR accomplishment! Be proud of YOU!