Validation not needed
I thought I needed to hear it as a parent from the person I decided to make a child with. As I continue to heal from someone who does not truly know me and is too stubborn to truly listen to my words & actions, the disappointment is turning into hate. Not even a happy mothers day no type of gratitude. Being a yoga coach my life is what I make it which is a peaceful place within. His own insecurites, guilt, resentments, and what ever else goes on within his being is pointed at me like I am keeping him away. He does that himself with staying in work mode, no balance and making sure his first kid is a priority. I always do my best even when I am not feeling my best, drained, all thee above. I do it all. So when mothers day came around I thought just maybe he will say something since I stay speaking to him I am left with silence, pausing converstations. I know I remind him of what needs to be done he does not want to commit to a life without me being by his side. That is the sad truth. I no longer love this man for ten years now. I love me more than ever since I began 7 cups. Co-parenting with him is a mind f***. So I do my best to be the upmost best mother I can be to our child. Everyday she is my main focus next to my own well being. This is beyond dissapointment. I have already went through this as a child without a fully present father figure soooo what makes him think that I will not be on him to do the same, to be fully present. His emotions are tied to the past, where I no longer live or wish to even dream about. My growth in life is up not backwards. I know I cam not make him do anything that is his own choice. Moment for moment I do my best to breathe thru the bs he speaks and find the truth in it all. He is a jigsaw puzzle with too many missing pieces yet I still solve the puzzle I am smart. I am knowing of what is best, I have support and true love around me. I honestly love my life just not the bs he speaks. exhales
@Lenaye8
Good on you for getting that out. I can feel your frustration, but it's nice that you have that self-love spurring you on. Nurture that, it will take you to great places.
Sometimes growth happens at different paces. When you're looking to the future and they're looking to the past, it can feel like such a mismatch of values. It's hard to be the catalyst for change for someone when they're close to you. Something about intimacy can be blinding. Sometimes it takes a fresh perspective to point to the problem.
My friend tried desperately to help me out of depression, but I resisted him a lot. I thought he must be wrong, for I was certain there was no hope. I wish someone would have pointed to my flaws, for how could I deny the objectivity of someone new and uninvolved?
I'm not saying you don't have the power. You seem to be pretty good at expressing yourself. You cannot control how receptive they are though.
Your example might be sufficient to cause change too. If they can pick up on the mismatch, it might lead to introspection.
This stuff most certainly isn't easy. I think it's clear you don't want to just give up. There's something there, potential.
Consider yourself. You know you, not me. Do what you think is right. If you feel there's hope, put your heart into it. By trying, you can be certain of how the other truly feels.
